The Air Sex Championships are coming to San Diego.
Yes, that is exactly what you think it is (i.e. pelvic thrusts set to music in front of a crowd).
For the air virgins out there, the rules are simple. Contestants have two minutes to perform an air sex routine, which, according to the event's Web site, may include "all phases of an air sex encounter: meeting, seduction, foreplay and intercourse." Suspiciously absent from that list are our favorite phases: crying and apologizing.
Two minutes may not sound like a lot of time to go from zero to 60, but this competition isn't for the weak of heart. You'll need to do your best Meryl Streep to take home the title.
"Air Sex is sort of like Air Guitar," said Tim League, founder of the Alamo Drafthouse and the Air Sex World Championship, "except instead of pretending to play an invisible guitar onstage, contestants get up there and pretend to have sex with someone who isn't there. With their clothes on, typically. They pick a song to perform to and then have two minutes to impress the judges with their overall Airness."
Unlike air guitar, air sex has very few rules: "Props are allowed, teams are allowed, talking is allowed."
The only real rule that the event stresses is that all climaxes must be simulated, not real. Basically you want to leave the audience saying, "I'll have what she's having."
The event is scheduled at the Casbah on June 25, so you still have plenty of time to practice.