Looking back at our coverage of the scandal since Sean Avery held his infamous press briefing on former paramours and their current flames, Puck Daddy has amassed well over 2,000 comments about "sloppy seconds" and the reaction to it.
So thanks, NHL, for making a mountain of faux-misogyny out of what should have been a locker room molehill!
The comments on the Avery stories were strong, but there were oh-so-many other strong efforts from the Sloppy Seconders and/or Little Puck Daddy Urban Achievers (whatever we're calling you this week).
Once again, we're handing out some hardware on the first and the fifteenth of every month for some comments that strike our fancy or tickle out funny bones. If you see one of yours, drop us a line and say hey. If you don't, then obviously you either need more Big Lebowski references in your repertoire or you simply haven't mastered the dark arts of snowblower jokes. Thanks to everyone who reads and participates. The envelopes, please!
The MVP Award (Most Vociferous Poster): Given to the Puck Daddy reader who put all of his or her effort into a single, hilarious thread. (Note: Death By Leafs won this award by posting one joke for every Devils goal against the Rangers.)
Video: Brandon Dubinsky picks a winner for Rangers
Posted by Death by Leafs Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:38 am EST
Interestingly enough, the last good pick by the Rangers was 2004, 2nd round, 60th - Brandon Dubinsky. Or maybe he was just the best pick available. Take your pick. [/schtick]
And I thought Derek Boogaard was the Boogeyman
Jennifer Campbell will never date him
Dubinsky never quite understood the "green" movement
Now we know the reason for his snot and cold spurts.
Avery thought the handshake snub was personal, but Brodeur knows where Ranger fingers have been
Good thing the camera cut away before his other hand went to work
and............ Is the three-pick now known as the "Brandon Dubinsky Hat-Trick"?
Geek Squad Medal of Merit: Given to the reader who makes the most ingenious techie/computer nerd joke.
Capitals Web editor will play backup goalie against Sens
Posted by carl_vs_mastershake Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:13 pm EST
I'd give him a C++
The 'Do You Know Where That Finger's Been?' Award: Given to the commenter who finds the most direct and perfect punchline to the Joe Sakic/snowblower story, and then makes two jokes.
In the battle of snowblower vs. Joe Sakic, snowblower wins
Posted by jibblescribbits Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:26 pm EST
First free agency then this, why are the Avs always cutting ties with their Fingers.
If Ryan H gets to amend his joke I would like to do the same...
I heard the Finger tried to leave because the Snowblower offered it $14M over 4 years.
The Avery Fatigue Award: Given to the poster whose comments about the Avery scandal show a slight level of agitation towards the subject matter.
Avery makes 'sloppy seconds' crack in Calgary, faces suspension
Posted by Wilf Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:06 pm EST
At the end of the day, I guess the only stories I want to read about Avery are the ones by John Dellapina that say the guy's death is imminent.
The Women-for-Sean-Avery Award: Given to the poster, male or female, who best brings the Sean Avery matter back down to reality when it comes to charges of "misogyny."
Why women aren't offended by Avery, but men think they are
Posted by spawn of sean Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:06 pm EST
Wow, talk about proving the point by example. Seems to me to be a number of female commentors here, the vast majority of whom have chosen the "Avery is a general douchebag, but i wouldnt call him a woman hater" camp. Then we seem to have a number of males who have swooped in right after them, to condemn the man as the worst Canadian male since Marc Lepine. I find it fascinating that there is so much sand floating around inside these manginas. I also think there may be something wrong with men trying to debate women on why they should feel offended. (Almost feels as if there is some implied criticism in their statements to me.)
I found the comments section of this blog unintentionally hilarious, and as such have had to post my 1st comment in over a year of reading Puck Daddy. For the record, I think Avery's a serious nipple, but a more appropriate punishment would have been to make Tippetts play him for 30 minutes in that Calgary game. Yes, he was out of line, but 6 games? Wow, you get 3 for knocking a guy out cold for the season with an elbow, so 6 games for taunting bears in their cage feels excessive. I say, open the door, and let the bears teach him why its not such a solid idea to make them angry.
It's like when ur new puppy pees on the rug. If you catch him in the act, or immediately after, you correct him at that time, and in that place, so he connects the bad behaviour, with their consequences. When you come home, and there is a friendly reminder on the floor which has been sitting for awhile, you just clean it up while cursing under your breath. Given my druthers, I say let the man face his good buddies Jarome and Dion, while its still fresh enough in his fashionista brain that maybe 1 and 1 make enough of a 2, and Sean-Sean gets his well deserved comeuppance.
The 'It's All Kim Bauer's Fault' Award: Given to the commenter who really, really doesn't blame Avery for any of this.
Thus Ends the Dallas Stars career of Sean Avery
Posted by Rosalyn Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:14 pm EST
I think the bottom line here is that elisha cuthbert is a slut. hell guys, she dated avery, komisarek, and dion phaneuf (who plays for calgary) just to name a few. would'nt you feel the way avery did? sure, but you would'nt probably would'nt mouth off about it because you knew the girl's attention-starved-sleep-around-with -many hockey-player's reputation. girls like this are always trouble whether you are a teenager in high school or pro athlete!!
The Michael Madsen Sucking on a Hotdog Award: Given to the poster who best insults the preposterous Puck Daddy editor's headshot on the sidebar. (Note: This wasn't about the photo, but was a rather inspired put-down.
Rangers fans evoke Avery, get sloppy on Dion Phaneuf
Posted by stu Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:18 pm EST
This is a pretty sad little article. You call this news? You're like a little snot-nosed kid on the playground trying to get a chuckle. This is the type of crap that's turning the NHL into WWF. How would an eith-grader have handled this differently?
The Fox Robots Award: Given to the poster who best insults the hideous legacy of the glow puck.
Owning the glow puck and introducing the 360-degree camera
Posted by Tacks Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:35 pm EST
If my puck starts flashing does that mean my table at crappleby's is ready?
The Tom Benjamin Award: Named for blogger Tom Benjamin, one of the few writers who elevates hockey issue discussions to levels of intellectual importance while opening the minds of readers. It is given to the reader who ... does that.
Why is the Canadian media obsessed with Phoenix's failure?
Posted by RedWings22 Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:42 pm EST
First off, this Kevin McGran doesn't know crap about local hockey here in Phoenix. I live within a couple bus rides of two facilities, both with two rinks, Polar Ice in Peoria and Ozzie Ice in Phoenix, not to mention Alltel Ice Downtown. Each one of these facilities are amazing, Ozzie Ice stays open til 2 or 3 AM for kids and civil servants (police and firemen) and there's always diehard hockey fans there at 8am on a random Thursday taking their kids to get some ice time.
There are hockey fans all over Phoenix. You'd be surprised how many Canadian "snowbirds" from up north live here in the winter and spring, not to mention alot of people from hockey states like Minnesota, Michigan, and New York. I've been to several games this year including some great wins against the Capitals and the Penguins and the Job was always pretty packed. Not to mention that most of these fans are kids coming to see hockey. Many high schools in the area have hockey teams as well. So I think the Toronto media, especially Mr. McGran should research up a bit.
The problem in Phoenix isn't so much a financial problem as it is a marketing and locational problem. The Coyotes are Number 4 when it comes to sports teams here in the Desert, and that's not counting ASU football. That's not gonna change unless the Coyotes make a beyond-Cinderalla run to the Cup.
The Coyotes have done everything in their power, (Student Rush tickets, advertising in papers, TV, road signs [see Pierre], and giveaways) to try and attract the fans to come on out to Glendale to see them play. Being in Glendale is half the problem, because the main core of Phoenix's fan base come from the upper-class families living in Scottsdale on the other side of the city.
In this economy, I'm amazed that the Coyotes have kept attendance up, and while I don't know the exact figures, attendance could very well be rising. The product on the ice has certainly gotten better, and it's not like the Yotes are being lame ducks when it comes to being competitive. Acquiring Olli Jokinen was a step in the right direction to tell the Yotes fans that they want to win. The Yotes just need to keep moving forward and making the Playoffs or at least staying right in the chase til the last day of the season (Coyotes are currently 9th in the West) will put them on solid ground.
If the league contracted any team, it would be a tremendous momentum stopper for the NHL and hockey in America. If a team is struggling, the best option would be to relocate once all options were expended. I understand Canadians' frustrations in the fact that teams you love, playing a game you love, are taken away and moved to places where there isn't the same unifying passion. You have to remember the NHL is a business and they make business decisions are made that aren't always the most popular. Hopefully the economy will level and the League can expand in places like Hamilton and Winnipeg that deserve a pro hockey team in 10 or 20 years. Taking hockey away from any place is a bad thing and the NHL is starting to finally grow in places like Carolina, Anaheim, and even here in Phoenix. So let's just see how the landscape of the NHL will play out.
The No Habs No Award: Given to the commenter who best insults the otherwise inspired and charming Senators fans campaign to send money and fan letters to players that beat the Canadiens.
Fans put price on Montreal misery, offer bounties for Habs defeats
Posted by m_forbes37 Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:23 pm EST
One look at that stationery and handwriting and it's safe to guess his return address includes a cell block reference.
The 'From Russia, With Inebriation' Award: Given to the commenter with the best line about former NHL goalie John Grahame basically drinking himself out of the KHL.
Fight Video: Russia hasn't made Chris Simon less punchy
Posted by Andrew V Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:22 pm EST
If John Grahame was passed out drunk facing the boards would Ryan Holloweg take a run at him and nail him from behind?
The Bubba Banjo Award: One of the breakout stars of the Puck Daddy comment threads is Bubba Banjo, whose joyous celebrations of scantily clad women and cynical thoughts are sometimes punctuated with the term "Wyshynski, You Stink!" This award is given to the best bit of wit and wisdom we've seen from the man with the skunk avatar.
Puck Headlines: Iowa Chops dancers are actually the Baby Backs?
Posted by BubbaBanjo Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:13 pm EST
Wyshynski awesome reportin again. Man these are babes too. Not skinny crack ho lookin no-hip rails. Midwest wimmin! Big hair party girls. Nice!!! I'm with Sir Mix-a-lot. I like big butts and I cant deny.............
Didnt know nuthin about the chops but I am a fan. Wyshynski you dont stink at all!