Apologies. Regrets. I fall on my sword as a paragon of tardiness and sloth. This edition of the Puck Daddy Reader Comment Awards was due on the 15th, and here we are on Obama Day. We'll get these things back on their regular schedule in February. Pinkie swear.
For the uninitiated, we hand out some hardware on the first and the fifteenth of every month for some comments that strike our fancy or tickle out funny bones.
If you see one of yours, drop us a line and say hey.
The Bloodhound Gang Award: Given to the poster who gives us the most tasteless and hilarious sexual in-you-end-d'oh.
10. Posted by Jerk Store Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:59 pm EST
i hope the zamboni is working or else that pink'll get sloppy
The Old-Time Hockey! Award: Given to the commenter who tells the greatest tale of fan and/or player anarchy.
23. Posted by Jason S Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:36 am EST
Strangest thing? Back in 90 or 91 at the Riley Cup Finals, Hampton Roads came to Johnstown and ended up beating the Chiefs in overtime 3-2 (yes, I had to check hockeydb for a score. My memory ain't that good.) The crowd was pissed and was throwing everything and anything on the ice.
I saw the following things launched onto the ice that night:
- Drink cups obviously. No less than 100, and that was just in our end.
- The old guy in front of me who had to be no less than 70 was hurling coffee creamers.
Those barely made it over the glass.
- At least 2 pucks. I don't know if these were souvenirs or ones that went out of play.
- Hot dogs. Not sure why somebody was holding 2 hotdogs (they were even wrapped) while overtime hockey was being played.
- A helmet, like a hardhat you'd see at a steel mill. Not sure why somebody had one at a hockey game, but this was a steel town at one time so maybe somebody came from work and had their helmet.
But this is the one that I didn't understand. Somebody threw a dollar. Not like a Susan B dollar, but a standard government issue one dollar bill! The goalie spent most of his time ducking in his net while all of this is going down until he say the crumbled up george on the ice. He skates out, takes his time uncrumbling it and starts flexing it for the crowd to see. The people in our section went from booing and yelling profanities to almost instant laughter.
I guess in a short answer, the strangest thing would have to be a dollar, with the steel worker helmet being a close 2nd.
The Summer Classic Award: Given to the commenter that passionately defends the Winter Classic as a cold-weather event.
25. Posted by mike d Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:14 pm EST
the NHL needs to keep this in a cold locale, christ they were worrying about ice conditions in chicago. now they wanna play in the fricken desert ?
The Sean Avery Freedom of Speech Medal: Given to the poster who echoes Mr. Avery's comments about promoting players in the NHL.
13. Posted by Garth the Hoser Thu Jan 15, 2009 11:50 am EST
As much as I agree with Roenick on this one, who can blame athletes for avoiding saying anything interesting.
Early in Gretzky's career, the Oilers dropped a load on the Devils. 10-1 or something crazy like that. Gretz called the Devils a "Mickey Mouse organization". Which they were. 99 got roasted for that one. For telling the truth.
After that, he never said an interesting thing. And that's still true to this day. He's the most boring human on earth in interviews. You swear you can see the OFF switch in his eyes when he's talking on camera.
And for those with those memories, we see what happens when a guy calls over the cameras and tries some bad comedy about an ex-girlfriend. The excuse-making joke of a team suspends him. The worst-run-league-in-the-world suspends him. The whiny byatches in the media - who clamour for interesting quotes - crucify him. And the panty twisters in the cheap seats fall over themselves moralizing about what an evil person he is.
So no, I don't blame athletes for clamming up. In fact, if I were a player's agent, I'd send all my players to interview camp in the summer they're drafted, where they'd learn all the Bull Durham cliches.
The alternative is to stop interviewing athletes, most of whom are illiterate b00bs anyway.
The David Gergen Award: Given to the commenter who offers the best political punditry.
23. Posted by Eric. Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:56 pm EST
Which would fail harder: an OBAMA 09 Hawks jersey or a FRANKEN 09 Wild jersey?
The Michael Madsen Sucking on a Hotdog Award: Given to the poster who best insults the preposterous Puck Daddy editor or his headshot on the sidebar.
25. Posted by bigloser Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:25 am EST
Puck Daddy is a moron. Why yahoo would have this loser on there site is beyond me. He is even on yahoo.ca (Canada). An American commenting on hockey is like a Canadian blogging on surfing.
The Oh-Dear-God-You-Went-There Award: To the poster who crosses all boundaries of good taste.
6. Posted by Runnin up on ya ! Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:09 pm EST
That's not the first peter Ruutu's had in his mouth.
The Tom Benjamin Award: Named for blogger Tom Benjamin, one of the few writers who elevates hockey issue discussions to levels of intellectual importance while opening the minds of readers. It is given to the reader who ... does that.
19. Posted by jibblescribbits Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:32 pm EST
I agree with nearly everything that Mr. Singer said above, but this statement has always bothered me:
"Sports should govern themselves. I'm not interested in seeing hockey, or any other sport ruled by politicians."
Why are athletes not supposed to be beholden to the laws of the land while they are performing their task. Obviously fighting is permissible in hockey so charging someone with battery for being in a hockey fight is absurd. If a GM bamboozles a team out of millions of dollars, shouldn't the authorities step in and not Gary Betteman? If a coach doesn't call-up a young black player because he's black why shouldn't the team be held liable for discrimination.
The mentality that an institution should be left free to govern itself is as inherently flawed as VS. new marketing scheme. It will inevitably lead to cover-ups designed to protect the institution's image instead of actual justice and proper governing.
Obviously in the context of fighting in hockey, certain liberties need to be made because it is a competition and, like boxing, it is intrinsic to the sport. You wouldn't charge a boxer with battery after a match. Mr. Singer makes the important distinction above, that two players who go after each other are willingly engaging in the activity with the knowledge that their actions can lead to tragedy. But to say that hockey players need only be held accountable by the league they are in, not are not obligated to follow laws while they are on the ice is a flawed principle.
And for those wondering the entire above statement is just my excuse to use the word "Bamboozeled"
The Sidney Crosby Bashing Silver Gavel of Triumph: Given to the poster with the best shot, cheap or otherwise, taken at the expense of the Penguins captain.
3. Posted by jmox Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:01 pm EST
It'll be tough to see Semin and Crosby fight the next time they play...since Semin doesn't ever take face-offs.
The Bubba Banjo Award: One of the breakout stars of the Puck Daddy comment threads is Bubba Banjo, whose joyous celebrations of scantily clad women and cynical thoughts are sometimes punctuated with the term "Wyshynski, You Stink!" This award is given to the best bit of wit and wisdom we've seen from the man with the skunk avatar.
24. Posted by BubbaBanjo Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:06 pm EST
Nahhhhhh..................play it during the Rose Bowl Parade on a float. Pimp hot tub with Gary Bettman and J-lo in a bubble bath in the back!!!
Man thats hockey!! Wyshynski just call it a cash classic.....it stinks!