Weekend Watch List: The Battle Of Battles Of Los Angeles!

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and eat an entire box of sugarcubes. LET’S GO!

BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES – 9:00PM Saturday (SyFy – an NBC/Universal network) Please note: This is NOT “Battle: Los Angeles,” the major studio film opening in theaters today. This is the original SyFy movie “Battle OF Los Angeles,” which is totally different. You see, “Battle: Los Angeles” is about soldiers fighting an alien invasion and stars Aaron Eckhart. And “Battle OF Los Angeles” is about soldiers fighting an alien invasion and starring Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples. You see how different that is? No way you could confuse the two movies at all! I look forward to SyFy’s next original feature, “Brango,” starring Ronnie Stepp as a cowboy gecko. ANTICIPATION: KNOCKOFFS RULE!

SNL – 11:30PM Saturday (NBC) Zach Galifianakis returns this weekend to host SNL, and if you didn’t watch his monologue the last time he hosted the show, please do so this instant. It’s probably the comedic highlight from the show over the past five years or so, and that alone is reason enough to tune in tomorrow night. Your musical guest is Jessie J. I have absolutely no idea who that is. ANTICIPATION: ZACH!

NCAA TOURNAMENT SELECTION SHOW – 6:00PM Sunday (CBS) Oh, yes. March Madness is upon us. Tune in to CBS on Sunday evening to find out exactly who got in the 68(!)-team field and who knocked off the bubble. No! NOT VCU! How could you leave them out?! Now the whole thing is RUINED! Enjoy figuring out which team you like as a sleeper to make the Final Four, only to watch that team lose quietly in the second round. Gambling isn’t fair. ANTICIPATION: MADNESS!

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE – 9:00PM Sunday (NBC) The celebs have to write a book for children and then read that book to children. This is known as the “challenge producers immediately thought of once they knew Gary Busey was on board.” Everyone knows: If you got Busey, you need to have him terrorizing infants. ANTICIPATION: SICK!

SECRET MILLIONAIRE – 8:00PM Sunday (ABC) Elvis impersonator and real estate tycoon Marc Paskin hides out in Detroit and finds people “worthy to surprise” with money and stuff. Yep, still creepy. ANTICIPATION: SICK!

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