Minor League Malarkey focuses on the goofy world of minor-league hockey; from the characters to the fights to the promotions to the die-hard fans that half-fill the stands. Know of a quirky upcoming hockey promotion? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
Guaranteed Fun Day
The Quebec Major Junior Hockey League's Saint John Sea Dogs will be having "Guaranteed Fun Day" during this game on Sunday against the Quebec Remparts. If any fan is not entertained enough by the on-ice product, they will receive a free ticket to an upcoming Sea Dogs game. "We're confident that our product is of supreme quality, and we've chosen to champion that notion by guaranteeing the entertainment value of our next home game," said Saint John President Wayne Long.
Luckily for Long and the Sea Dog, Patrick Roy is still behind the bench for the Remparts and his two sons are still on the roster. Long might want to revise the promotion and give fans free tickets to future games if there isn't a bench-clearing brawl, goalie fight, or one the Sea Dog players takes a stick to the chops.
Star Wars / Wedgie Remembrance Day
On February 28, the UMass-Lowell hockey team is teaming up with the 501st New England Garrison, a local Star Wars costuming fan club. I'll repeat that: Star Wars costuming fan club for Star Wars Night.
Wysh already has tickets and a hotel booked. He'll be the one dressed as Boba Fett.
According to the UMass-Lowell website, "Storm Troopers, bounty hunters and more will be roaming the concourse and taking photos with fans throughout the evening. Get in on the act yourself and dress up as your favorite Star Wars character!"
As if Star Wars fans didn't have enough pairs of underwear pulled over their heads in high school, now the River Hawks hockey team wants to subject them to the same sort of punishment at a sporting event? That being said, if anyone attends, please email us photos to email@example.com.
Rod Blagojevich Night is almost here
Please recall when the Las Vegas Thunder of the ECHL announced their promotional night honoring Illinois' disgraced governor who was accused of selling President Barack Obama's vacated state senate seat.
With the game now a week away, the Thunder released mock-ups of what they'll be wearing as well as their opponents, the Bakersfield Condors (Department of Corrections uniforms), and the referees (police officer uniforms).
Since we're down to the wire here, I still implore the Thunder to have special helmets designed in the shape of Blagojevich's wicked hair. For a team who also donned orange hunting vests as jersey's to poke fun at former Vice President Dick Cheney's poor shooting skills.