Call it the goat in the machine, but whatever you call it, you can't call it a routine traffic stop.
So, two guys and a goat walk into this bar. It's no joke, and it really doesn't get funny until they leave the bar. John Welsh with the Riverside County Animal Services Department tells us this is how the whole thing went down.
It starts when his department gets a call from the CHP late Jan. 12.
A CHP officer notices a pickup truck weaving near the corner of East Mayberry Avenue and Girard Street near Hemet. So the officer does what he no doubt has done countless times before. The chippie has probably seen every type of hammered, soused, trashed and tanked driver. Perhaps except for this pair. As he approaches the truck, a passenger decides it's time to cut and run. Which is not a good idea under any circumstance, but even worse after you've alleged to be blotto.
The unidentified passenger took a step or two outside of the truck, but then face-planted a few feet away. Forget about walking a straight line. This guy appears to be too wasted to walk at all. So as the officer attends to one suspect, he notices another passenger. There in the front seat was a goat. A female goat.
As hard as this is to believe, it gets better. Neither the allegedly plastered driver nor his allegedly crocked passenger claims to know the goat. We can almost hear what that conversation must have been like. Each man pointing to the other, telling the officer "Honest, I thought she was with HIM."
The goat is now recovering from her ordeal at the City Animal Shelter. The speculation is the goat was hot. By that, I mean stolen. At least I think I mean stolen.
We think the goat ought to be a little more choosy as to with whom she goes home. Perhaps she too was pie-eyed. But we'll never know. The goat must have lawyered up. She ain't talking.