Reports: Favre “Not Retiring,” Heading To Minnesota

It’s been nearly two weeks since reports surfaced that Brett Favre was “retiring” via text message. Then we were forced to endure Favre explaining that he never sent any text message about retiring because text messages are for city folk and he’s just an innocent little farmboy who communicates only via the can-and-string phone in his treehouse BECAUSE HE CAN ONLY EXIST IN A PERMANENT STATE OF CHILDLIKE MERRIMENT.

Anyway, you and I both knew Favre wasn’t actually retiring. Favre will only retire if someone were to shoot him dead, which may not be a prosecutable crime in Minnesota at this point. Favre only feigned dillydallying about retiring so he could skip out on training camp.

And now, it appears that Favre is close enough to the season to avoid doing wind sprints and safely report to Minnesota. Scott Hansen of NFL Network says Favre is on a plane to the Twin Cities as we speak.
 

Just filed exclusively to NFL Network: Brett Favre is on a jet heading north. More details soon on NFLN.

Shame on you, Hanson. Ed Werder would be ON that plane and reporting on if the stewardess let Favre keep the entire can of ginger ale. Florio over at PFT also says Favre’s official site teases at an imminent return (if it can be called a return):

 

"Stay tuned for breaking news from the Minnesota Vikings today on Brett Favre's possible return. Visit the Vikings.com and Officialbrettfavre.com for more information."

I went to Favre’s website and got an error message. But hey, an error message is about the most reliable thing you can hear from Brett Favre these days.

Expect Favre to show up at camp this week, skip the second preseason game, and then play a few meaningful series in the third preseason game to get his sea legs back. After that, everything will be back to normal and the Vikings will resume their status among the favorites in the NFC. I think we’re all getting better at this process after a few years, aren’t we?

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