What else could we expect from "Dancing WIth the Stars'" guilty pleasures night but Britney Spears, Rick James and a little "Titanic"?
Melissa Rycroft ably kicked off the second night of competition this week with a "Toxic" tango, a proficient but unremarkable performance that was crisp but, as the judges felt compelled to point out, could've probably been crisper were she not nursing a neck injury.
It was the next routine, Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough's rumba to one of the greatest guilty-pleasure tunes of all time, "My Heart Will Go On," that had the judges at odds--for multiple reasons.
Bruno Tonioli gave them a 10, so he was cool with everything, but then Carrie Ann Inaba quibbled over what she insisted that what Derek cheekily called a catch was, in fact, a lift.
"Tonight, Carrie Ann plays the iceberg," cracked host Tom Bergeron.
And then Len Goodman didn't much like it all, saying he had a Dickens experience! "I had 'Great Expectations' and I got 'Bleak House,'" he quipped, adding that there was no hip action ("Yes, there was!" insisted Bruno) and that the entire performance was "clipped."
Even Carrie Ann insisted their rumba was "gorgeous and sensual." So, mixed scores all around.
Apolo Anton Ohno's samba underwhelmed Carrie Ann, who advised him and Karina Smirnoff to work on their chemistry, and it was Len who gave them the highest of their three scores, a 9.5.
"It's as if I'm at a home for the bewildered here," Len marveled.
Sabrina Bryan and Louis van Amstel channeled Disney's Cinderella and Prince Charming (right down to the Prince's ball-specific red pants!) for their waltz and earned the night's first 10.
"I think you're in for a happy ending," said Carrie Ann, who was apparently playing the role of Bruno in addition to the iceberg.
Then the other half of the team freestyle competition was up, Team "Gangnam Style"--and between Maks Chermkovskiy's shorts and knee socks, Kelly Monaco spanking Val Chmerkovskiy, and Gille Marini's towel, this dance should be in the dictionary next to guilty pleasure.
The whole routine never had a chance to be as polished as Team "Call Me Maybe's" cheerleader-Latin hybrid from last night, but it was still super fun.
And it didn't hurt when Gilles tossed his towel at Bruno, revealing his white boxer-briefs underneath.
Here's how the leaderboard stacked up after two nights:
Sabrina & Louis: 29, 29.5 (58.5)
Apolo & Karina: 29.5, 27 (56.5)
Gilles & Peta: 29.5, 27 (56.5)
Melissa & Tony 29.5, 27 (56.5)
Shawn & Derek: 29.5, 27 (56.5)
Emmitt & Cheryl: 29, 27 (56)
Kirstie & Maks: 25.5, 27 (52.5)
Kelly & Val: 24.5, 27 (51.5)