With four kids under the age of 7, Australian influencer Bronte Towns deserves an uninterrupted bubble bath. But as it turns out, she actually prefers family tub time.
In a viral Instagram post titled “Why I shower with my children,” Towns explains that it’s a “natural way to teach” her kids biology and to “model and monitor body hygiene practices.” Another benefit of communal bathing, according to Towns, is that it normalizes “everyday bodies” that have stretch marks, veins and body hair.
“So many questions pop up naturally when you shower together. We normalize open conversations in the shower, there’s no silly questions, nothing too awkward to ask, etc.,” Towns wrote. She also uses the time to educate her children “on bodily autonomy, personal boundaries & consent.”
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Dr. Wendy Lane, a child abuse pediatrician at the University of Maryland Children’s Hospital, agrees that bathing with one's child provides an opportunity for important conversations.
“It can be a way to learn accurate names for body parts, explain the physical difference between genders, explain that bodies change while growing up and teach children about personal boundaries,” Lane tells TODAY.com.
“Letting children know that their bodies are their own is important,” she adds. “No one should be touching their private parts, unless providing assistance with toileting or bathing, if needed, and parents should be aware.”
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Towns did not specify which children she bathes with, but she has 18-month-old boy-girl twins and two sons ages 2 and 7.
When should kids transition to bathing on their own?
“Bathing with children should always stop if the child asks to stop,” Lane says. But in general, children develop increased modesty between the ages of 3 and 5, according to Lane. At this time, neurotypical children can clean themselves independently.
Towns’s Instagram reel, which has been seen nearly 12 million times, drew both praise and criticism.
- “who ever thought it was a good idea to teach their child about human anatomy by using their own naked body needs serious psychological evaluating.”
- “I showered with my mom growing up and was often in the same room as she changed up until I was a teen, I never had the thought of it being ‘weird’ or ‘gross’ until I saw post like these with people being judgmental in the comments, it’s so normal! and knowing what cellulite, stretch marks and sagging skin looked like at a young age made me feel so much more comfortable in my body when I started to see these things. Mom had this and she’s still beautiful and so am I!”
- “You can have literally all these conversations without taking a shower with your kids.”
- “When I was younger I showered with my grandma. It saved time and water and she showed me how to wash my hair and my body.”
- “My daughter is almost two and takes a shower with Dad almost every night since she was a newborn. Gives mom a break and it’s a great bonding experience. When will we stop? When our daughter wants to.”
- "nope…totally inappropriate."
Towns believes the unkind comments are a result of Western society struggling to separate nudity from sexuality.
"I believe if people haven’t grown up with family showers or baths, or do not have children of their own, it’s extremely difficult for them to comprehend how it could not be sexual but a normal part of everyday life," she told TODAY.com in an email.
Towns says a family shower inspired one child to ask, “Why are your nipples bigger than Dad’s?”
“It’s an opportunity to explain biology, ‘Because mine are designed to feed babies,’” she explains to TODAY.com. But most of the time, “When I shower with my children, they barely even notice I’ve got no clothes on because this is a normal practice in our lives, and always has been.”
Towns notes that there are “boundaries, of course.”
“I will only answer questions that are asked,” Towns says. She also keeps her responses simple and age-appropriate.
“My kids love having family showers and they get super excited playing together in the water,” Towns says. “When they’re too old or outgrow it we will have a conversation with them — father to son, mother to daughter.”
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:
