Why Demi Lovato felt she was in ‘walking coma' after 2018 overdose

Originally appeared on E! Online

Demi Lovato is getting candid about the struggles she faced after her near-fatal drug overdose in 2018.

The "Skyscraper" singer reflected being "California sober," a term commonly used to describe someone who uses cannabis but avoids other drugs, years after the harrowing incident. Though Lovato said in her 2021 docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil—which addressed her past heroin addiction and overdose—that she was "smoking weed and drinking in moderation" as a part of her recovery journey, the 31-year-old now sees how it wasn't exactly the best laid plan.

"I had to learn it on my own," she shared during her Sept. 11 appearance on The Howard Stern Show, revealing that she ended up "smoking so much weed and taking edibles, sometimes 300mg at a time" instead. "All I did was replace my addiction with something I thought was safer."

Explaining how she was also struggling with weight gain at the time, Lovato recalled being in a "deep depression" and feeling a "profound sadness."

Demi Lovato's Quotes on Sobriety and Mental Health

"I was hiding in my room, not wanting to go outside because I didn't want anyone to see me," she continued. "I wasn't experiencing life. I ultimately was in this walking coma, where I wasn't feeling any pain but I also wasn't feeling any joy."

Lovato cut all substances from her life in late 2021, going into treatment and sharing on her Instagram Stories that "sober sober is the only way."

Looking back, Lovato acknowledged how being "California sober" was a slippery slope back into her addiction struggles. "Smoking and drinking led me back to other substances," she told host Howard Stern of her decision to go fully sober. "Abstinence has been the key for me."

Elsewhere in the interview, the Disney Channel alum opened up about the lingering effects of her overdose that she wrestles with to this day. "I still actually have vision problems," she shared. "I don't drive anymore because I have blind spots in my vision."

However, Lovato noted that she's not necessarily angry with herself and now tries to "stay in the present moment" where she's much happier in life.

"A lot of people ask me, 'Do you have any regrets in life?'" she said. "A lot of times I start to answer like, 'Yeah, I wish I didn't overdose because it I have hearing impairment, I have vision impairment and that was just an awful thing to put my family and friends through.' But I also have to remember the importance of not living in the past and not having regrets for things."

Lovato added, "I try to remain positive and have a healthy perspective on what happened to me."