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Trailer Park: 7500!

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Leslie Bibb, Ryan Kwanten, Jerry Ferrera, Jamie Chung and Amy Smart are among the passengers and crew of a trans-Pacific flight with a deadly stowaway. From director Takashi Shimzu ("The Grudge"), opens Aug. 31. (Published Wednesday, Feb 22, 2012)

    Anyone can tell you if a trailer "looks good" or not. But Drew Magary, who spent over a decade working in advertising, is here to tell you whether or not a trailer WORKS. This week's trailer? "7500."

    There are so many trailers in cyberspace that it's hard to figure out which ones are for real movies (like, say, "The Hunger Games") and which ones are clearly destined for On-Demand six days from now. Case in point: "7500." They say it's in theaters on August 31st. Then again, this is a movie that stars Jerry Ferrara and Amy Smart, so how accurate is that? Is there really gonna be a theater that puts this movie on its marquee? Let's look at the trailer and answer a few questions.

    "7500"

    [NATL] "7500"
    Leslie Bibb, Ryan Kwanten, Jerry Ferrera, Jamie Chung and Amy Smart are among the passengers and crew of a trans-Pacific flight with a deadly stowaway. From director Takashi Shimzu ("The Grudge"), opens Aug. 31. (Published Wednesday, Feb 22, 2012)

    Does the trailer let us know what the movie is about? Yes. In fact, the makers of "7500" do a very good job at establishing the premise. A bunch of people are on a flight from LAX to Tokyo. Everything seems perfectly normal at first, and then? PLANE GHOST. The "But they're not alone" title card really helps drive it home. Someone kept an sketchy looking old suitcase under the seat. I bet the ghost was in there!

    How many passengers are on the plane? 273. But I bet that number is significantly reduced upon landing, don't you think? I go with 150 for the over/under. You always have to have a few extras shuffling out of the plane at the end.

    Is Jerry Ferrara wearing a sideways hat and baggy jorts? No! That's the most surprising twist of all! He almost looks like an adult in this movie.

    Does the ghost interrupt anyone doing it in the airplane bathroom? Apparently not, which is a real missed opportunity. You have Amy Smart in an airplane movie. How is she not naked in the bathroom?

    I'm confusing "7500" with "The Nine" and "The 4400". Fear not. Those shows refer to the number of people who are haunted or time travel or something."7500" is just the flight number.

    Is there a scare sequence that will make people jump? There is. In this kind of trailer, there's always a flash of terror right at the very end. In this case, it's the poor stewardess, played by Jamie Chung, getting sucked directly into the overhead bin. Caution: She may shift during the flight!

    Why is this ghost terrorizing people? It's the guy with the iPad! He left it on during takeoff! What a jerk. Who buys an iPad just to play Pong?

    What's with the goth chick? Standard stock character. I hope she survives the plane ride and gets a job on NCIS.

    Number of snakes on this plane? Zero. Alas.

    What are this movie's horror credentials? The titles tell you it's from the dude who made "The Grudge," which was a very bad movie that made a very large sum of money, so I think we can rest assured that this is a REAL movie, and that it will arrive in theaters as promised.

    Does this trailer work? Yep. Horror movies do well in the late summer and early fall, and provided the competition is weak, I could easily see "7500" having a decent opening weekend. Is there anything new or different here? No. But it seems poised to deliver on your low expectations: lots of scares, lots of people dying, and a swift resolution.

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