Parenting

Mom says cashier scolded her for letting kid eat food in supermarket before paying: Who was right?

“I’ve never felt so judged by somebody. I’ll be honest, I snapped.”

A woman shopping at a Publix Grocery Store in Atlanta, Ga..
Jeffrey Greenberg/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

An angry mother says she was scolded by a store employee for opening a package of food for her child and letting him eat before she paid.

"I feel a mix of both really cross and really upset," said the mom in a video posted on her "SamanthaMary1989" TikTok account with more than 1 million views. "I've never felt, in one moment, so judged by somebody. I'll be honest, I snapped."

The mother explained that she went to Tesco, a supermarket chain in the U.K., with her son who was feeling ill. After rejecting the snacks she had brought in, the boy requested the food in their shopping cart.

"Because he had not eaten, I was like, 'If he wants it, he can have it,'" said Samantha Mary in her video, adding that she allowed Jack to also eat a container of yogurt.

At the register, the mom handed the two empty packages to the cashier.

"I said to the lady serving us, 'I just wanted to let you know: Jack's eaten these two on the way around — here they are, so that you can scan them.' I wanted to point it out," she explained.

@samanthamary1989

I’m still feeling so cross about this whole situation and I still cannot believe this lady actually said what she said. I intend to put in a formal complaint if possible. Unfortunately I didn’t see her name as I was so upset at the time. The judgement put on me was unbelievable and totally unacceptable #tesco #badexperience #mumjudgement #poorcustomerservice #motherhood #mumsoftiktok

♬ original sound - Samantha Mary | Proud Mama

According to Samantha Mary, the employee gave her "the most disgusted look" while she scanned the items and then threw them out.

"I said to her, 'I'm really sorry but we hadn't finished with them. I just wanted to pass them to you so you could make sure they were scanned,'" said Samantha Mary. "So she ... huffed at me, got them out of the bin and put them on the side."

Samantha Mary said she apologized.

"She said, 'I just don't think it's right that people let their kids eat stuff from the food shop on the way around,'" said the mom.

The employee, said Samantha Mary, pushed her "mom button."

"I said, 'I don't really think it is your job to be giving your opinion on what you think — my child is really unwell, he has basically not eaten properly for a week, he wanted something in the shop, so I jumped on that opportunity for him to have something to eat."

Samantha Mary said she was in tears, and the employee gave a "half-apology."

"The judgment put on me was unbelievable and totally unacceptable," she captioned her post.

A spokesperson for Tesco did not immediately reply to a request for comment from TODAY.com.

More than 8,000 comments proved the incident divisive:

  • "I work in retail and this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Like, why can't you wait to eat or drink?"
  • "Absolutely no excuse in retail to be rude to a customer."
  • "You're not meant to eat or drink items as you go round purely because what if something happened with your card?"
  • "It's stealing if you haven't yet paid."
  • "I work in Tesco and (to be honest), yeah the colleague's reaction was a little harsh, but it's such a stressful time in retail ... I don't really care if parents let their kids eat on the way around."
  • "It's only when they hand me a wet packet of breadsticks all gnawed, which is where I get a little disgusted, lmao."
  • "Why let it bug you? It doesn't change anything."

TODAY.com was unable to reach Samantha Mary for comment.

So, is it OK to let children snack at the grocery store before paying?

According to a 2019 survey on TODAY.com asking whether it's OK in general for people (adults or children) to snack before paying at the supermarket, 46.6% of TODAY viewers say “Never” while 18.4% voted "yes"; 35% said the answer depends on the product.

Here's an expert opinion: Jacqueline Whitmore, a business etiquette expert in Mount Dora, Florida, says most people have let hunger get the best of them before reaching the register.

"It may not be proper manners, but when you're hungry, you're hungry," Whitmore tells TODAY.com.

Children generally get a pass at grocery stores, she adds, provided parents pay for the items and clean up any mess.

"Parents are usually more concerned about hungry children screaming or causing a stink," she says, adding that some stores hand out free cookies to children to prevent meltdowns.

Whitmore, a former cashier herself, admits that accepting sticky or half-eaten packages isn't pleasant; however, most check-out stations are equipped with paper towels, hand sanitizer, cleaning products and trash bins.

"It's usually not a big problem," she says.

Whitmore points out that being a cashier isn't easy.

"You're on your feet all day and have positive and negative interactions with people," she says. "It's often a thankless job."

If you're a parent or an employee and run into a problem that can't be resolved, Whitmore recommends calling a supervisor.

"It's not the cashier's job to scold a parent or a child," she says, "Nor should cashiers accept rude behavior."

This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:

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