MIAMI BEACH, FL - APRIL 05: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is seen in South Beach as filming begins for "Jersey Shore" on April 5, 2010 in Miami Beach, Florida.
Look, it's not that we want to see people fight on South Beach. It's just that we're purists.
So color us disappointed that Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's headline-making fracas on Ocean Drive Saturday evening is pretty much the worst and most awkwardly staged reality TV "fight" we've seen in some time. And oh, the false advertising!
"JWOWW ran over screaming "What the f--- happened?" yelled Yahoo!'s OMG blog.
"Snooki...Slaps Man & Throws Food," exclaimed Radar Online. "EXCLUSIVE VIDEO."
Radar says Snooki and castmate Jenny "JWOWW" Farley were at Ocean's 10 doing shots when it all started.
“She was in a good mood, but this particular guy was obviously interested and she wasn’t,” witness Fred Hernandez said. "She told him, ‘Don’t f--- with me’ so he snatched her drink and walked off."
A friend of the rejected man came over to demand an apology. He said, she said, and then she slapped and he drenched in return.
That EXCLUSIVE VIDEO -- which you can view here -- pretty much sums up everything that's always wrong with second seasons, and mostly wrong with reality TV in general:
The cast are now so famous that all of Ocean's 10 is standing around Snooki in a nearly mute circle, staring at her as she sits plopped in a bar chair surrounded by crew and awaiting her cue.
The "perpetrator" obviously just wants to be on TV (you'll never convince us he's putting his heart in that drink toss; such poor form).
JWOWW acts completely unsurprised -- and at best might be considered to be "walking fast" and "talking loud."
Sigh. Really, MTV: if we've got to put up with you, the least you can do is not make it all so obvious.
Oh. Right. Er...carry on.