Puck Daddy Create-a-Card Gallery 2: Crying over spilled bacon

With the entries in our Puck Daddy Create-a-Card contest well into triple digits, we're frankly flabbergasted at the levels of ingenuity and the depths of depravity that are fueling this competition.

The Mark Messier "Complete Mess Set" above is, without question, one of the contenders for the three prizes at the end of the rainbow. It's like a Zucker Bros. movie: take a hilarious concept and keep adding layers of absurdity until you reach critical mass. Which, in this case, might be "listening to 'Desperado.'" Thanks to Puck Daddy reader Dave Cicirelli for this incredible work.

Does that mean "Complete Mess Set" is your winner? Hell no, or at least not yet. Because as you'll see after the jump, it's the cherry on the cynical sundae. Your sick, sick minds are working overtime for this one. And we thank you for it.

The rules of the contest, once more with feeling: Original Photoshops and artwork creations only, and we'll publish as many entries many as we can. The Yahoo! Sports rules of profanity and PG-13 content apply. Deadline for submissions is Friday, February 13 at noon EDT. E-mail contest entries to puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com. Judges are Wyshynski, Leahy and a handle of Grey Goose. Enter as many times as you'd like.

Now, since we dinged a New York Rangers icon to start, it's only fair that the New Jersey Devils take the next one. We'll never, ever, ever see Martin Brodeur the same way again. (Keep in mind the gallery is PG-13, and hence may feature some NSFW art.)

Here's Gallery 2 of our Create-a-Card Contest. Gallery 1 can be found here.

We think the phrase you're looking for is, "MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!"

Puck Daddy reader Burt L. sent in the Brodeur image above; PD reader "blues_fan_mk" is responsible for the "Garbage Pail Kids" addition.

More than a few entries have used the "swatch" meme, in which stamp-sized slice of "game-worn" gear is placed within a sports card to exponentially increase its value. They're incredibly inventive.

But when it comes down it, we're just a sucker for a fat joke. Marty Brodeur, Kyle Wellwood, Keith Tkachuk, Dustin Penner ... really, any player that's been accused of being out of shape within the last decade.

Except for Drew Doughty. It sucks enough that Steve Mason's going to win his Calder. Leave the kid alone.

Like we said, swatches work. Check out this next card, featuring a "BIG DRIVE!"

In keeping with both the New Jersey Devils and the "swatch" meme, this is one of the few announcers cards we've received and it's rather inventive. Puck Daddy reader Cale Putnam. sent in this one, although we eagerly await the follow up that features Chico Resch and a chewed up piece of Italian sausage.

There's always going to be some extra credit for repurposing a classic Puck Daddy joke for a contest. One of our earliest Jersey Fouls was this Pittsburgh Penguins "Malsby" hybrid sweater that made us hopeful there was a "St. Louvalier" sweater in Tampa someplace.

Kudos to Puck Daddy reader Darren for that one.

Is it art? No. Is it as aesthetically pleasing as the other entries? It actually hurts are eyes a little bit. But is the basic premise, if not the execution, wickedly funny? Perhaps so, Charlie ... perhaps so.

Thanks to Puck Daddy reader and noted Claude Lemieux aficionado Bill O'Brien.

Damn, this one needed to be bigger. But points for connecting the dots and coming up with a solid take on the Washington Capitals/Alexander Semin bongo-fight, Puck Daddy reader Ross.

Dave from Carolina on Ice sent this Chris Chelios tobacco card, one of about three that we received. Again, points for marrying the concept of the sports card to puchkead humor standbys. And obviously points for a good Chelios fogey joke, which rivals fat jokes for our affections.

We absolutely love both of these efforts, from Puck Daddy readers Trevor Ezaki (Jiri Tlusty) and Ryan Sievert (Patrick Kane). Slapping Kane's bleary-eyed club face on an old-timey hockey card is pure genius when you're dealing with an Original Sixer like the Chicago Blackhawks. The Tlusty card ... well, thank god for logos, right?

Finally ...

As some of you may know, our old buddy B.D. Gallof hasn't exactly had the easiest go of it lately. But he killed it in our Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism contest last year, and this Michael Phelps-inspired effort is pretty damn funny, don't you think?

Gallery 3 will publish next week. Thanks for reading and participating.

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