Midseason Midtacular: One Man Must Sink Below All the Mediocrity That Is Filling the NFL … the LVP

NFL FanHouse Midseason Midtacular: because handing out awards at the halfway point in the season seemed like the right thing to do.

Ryan Wilson issued the midseason Least Valuable Player Award Shaun Alexander Mittens half-asses a blog about him

Your Nominees for NFL LVP (soon to be renamed the Mittens Award):

David Carr, QB, New York Giants
Kidding. Sorry, force of habit. (And actually, he has a perfect passer rating I believe. Steph and I will now do some group suicide thing.)

Braylon Edwards/Derek Anderson, WR/QB, Cleveland Browns
One guy can't catch passes, the other can't throw them. Well, actually he can throw them, but the entire city of Cleveland seems to think that Brady Quinn would be better at performing said throw action over and over again. That's why he's starting tonight. It's awkward. Not as awkward as the fact that if Braylon wasn't sporting concrete MITTENS, DA would still have his job, but awkward nonetheless.

Peyton Manning
Blue Stampede in fantasy

Joseph Addai, RB, Indianapolis
But wait! There's more! No, seriously. Addai was hurt but he's been pretty bad.

Ryan Grant, RB, Green Bay
Many a fantasy team hinged their hopes to Grant, especially after the Packers hooked him up with a monster contract in the offseason. Unfortunately, he stinks. Badly. He doesn't look like he's trying that hard and the team is starting to seriously regret the deal. Good thing they looked up Aaron Rodgers though.

Chad Ocho Cinco, WR, Cincinnati
I don't care that he's got Ryan Fitzpatrick throwing to him instead of Carson Palmer. Or that Cincy's offensive line is so bad that he doesn't really even have time to get in his routes. The guy made the biggest offseason stink about getting traded and then the biggest preseason stink about changing his name, being important, yada, yada, yada and he has shown up for exactly one game. Loser.

DeAngelo Hall, DB, Oakland
Look, if you can trick the Raiders into giving you an eight million dollar contract extension and then somehow get cut by the Raiders, you've actually done pretty well for yourself (you get paid and off the Oakland roster!). But that doesn't mean that you're not prone to getting beat on deep balls and constantly drawing personal foul flags at inappropriate times. Oh yes, you are in fact, DeAngelo Hall. And you are quite in, er, un-valuable.

Plaxico Burress, WR, New York Giants
He's been a reaaaaaal team player this year, hasn't he? Right. Anywho, it's kind of sad that as the Giants are defending their Super Bowl run and looking like a potential favorite to repeat, their best offensive weapon is pouting on the sidelines half the time. Grow up, dude.

And the winner is ...

Midseason Midtacular: One Man Must Sink Below All the Mediocrity That Is Filling the NFL ... the LVP originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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