America’s Next Top Model: Blue Hawaii

Hawaii? Some fashion capital....

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The episode begins with Tyra and some guys in hazmat suits coming to the models' house to quarantine it on account of extreme nastiness. There are dirty dishes and clothes everywhere and ants, and Tyra tells the models that it's condemned and they can't live there anymore. But this is okay, because they're going to be moving to the fashion capital of… Hawaii? In some ways it's kind of refreshing that they're not even trying to appear legitimate anymore. It also seems like this all might just be an excuse for Tyra to show off her new bikini body in a backyard luau.

Once in Hawaii, the girls move into yet another amazing house. Newsflash: Erin is incredibly annoying. This of course must come as a shock to you. The girls head to the beach to meet surfers/models Sofia Beschen and Buzzy Kerbox. They will get surfing lessons, which ostensibly will help them with balance and body awareness. They manage to ride some waves fairly capably, and sadly there are no sharks in sight.

As the models ruminate on their beachy fun, Jay shows up to remind them that they're not on vacation. It's time for a photo shoot challenge. The girls will have to surf in tandem with a couple of hot dudes, and must try to work it on the waves. Poor Laura burns to a crisp like a piglet in a skillet (her own words! Who fries a piglet?) before our eyes, despite wearing SPF 80. Generally, this challenge is a very wobbly affair, and it is Erin who deservedly wins. She gets a helicopter tour of the island of Maui, and chooses Brittany and Nicole to accompany her despite hating both of them. The tour looks pretty awesome, but Erin is disappointed that she hasn't won "a thing." She annoys everyone by saying this, because of course she comes off as a spoiled brat. Nonetheless, she maintains that she'd rather have jewelry.

And then there's this. The girls head to a sugarcane field for their photo shoot, and learn that Tyra is their photographer yet again. She and Jay explain that there are a lot of biracial kids in Hawaii -- known as "hapa" -- and for this week's shoot the girls will have to portray a blending of two very different and distinct races. Laura is Mexican and Greek; Erin is Tibetan and Egyptian; Sundai is Moroccan and Russian; Brittany is Native American and East Indian; Jennifer is Botswanan and Polynesian; Nicole is Malagasy and Japanese. Basically, the models are in blackface. And the styling involves, for example, Brittany wearing a giant headdress and a bindi. And, um… is this okay? Really? In any event, Nicole is once again perfect, and Jennifer also does well. Laura picked a good week to get sunburned since she's covered in brown makeup. She does just fine. Sundai looks like a fierce 12-year old in a Gap Kids ad, but manages to squeak by. Erin and Brittany are in the bottom two. Despite Erin being an insecure pill, she manages to hang on for another week as Brittany gets sent back to nerd world.

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