A memorial for a young mother who died in a car accident in Scripps Ranch was taken down this week, leading to a debate about whether regulations prohibiting memorials along roadways should be enforced or whether compassion should be shown toward grieving families.
An intimate video shared by the victim's father to NBC 7 shows Sara Haywood recording herself holding her daughter Olivia with her two sons, during a flight. She had just moved to San Diego to start fresh when her life was cut short in October of last year.
While avoiding a merging car, she lost control of her car and crashed into a tree along Scripps Poway Parkway and died. Her father, Orpheus Haywood, traveled from Central California to build a memorial on the median where she lost her life.
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"We wanted to do something to honor our daughter and the city that she loved,” said Haywood.
The memorial, a bright green cross, received complaints from local residents citing it as a distraction and danger to drivers.
When Thomas Leeman, with the Miramar North Planning Committee, got involved, he felt conflicted. Expected to enforce the rules, he hesitated.
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“When it becomes personal, things happen and you feel a certain way,” said Leeman. “The young woman, 28 years old, dying in a car crash with three young kids. I saw a picture of the family. The fact that she was a person of faith.”
Leeman contacted Orpheus, and the City of San Diego to try and help. City employees did try to find a way to keep the memorial up, Leeman said. But it was also argued that something on the median is a liability for the city.
“My caustic response was, 'Hey if that’s a distraction for drivers, they shouldn’t be on the road,' but I have to balance that out,” said Leeman, commenting on his representation of the community as a whole.
The correspondence between the city, Leeman, and the Haywood family, in the end, wasn't enough to keep the cross standing.
It had been removed sometime before Thursday.
“We're sorry that it would have had to be removed. But you know, it's another painful little dig to our family. We don't make the rules but we do want to follow them,” said Leeman.
Orpheus told NBC 7 he wished the people unhappy with his tribute to his daughter had called the number that he had posted on the memorial.
“I was born and raised a Catholic and for us, where the soul departs, means a lot. You know, we light candles, we pray there because we believe that energy is present or that's where the last part of where the energy was," said Leeman.
In the meantime, a few flowers near the tree stump will hold that sacred place for the Haywood family.
NBC 7 tried to reach the Scripps Ranch residents that asked for the memorial to be removed but did not immediately hear back on Thursday.
It’s unclear who removed the cross, but the city is holding it in storage for Orpheus to come to collect it.
The day after this report was published, NBC 7 received the following statement from the city of San Diego — Ed.
The city of San Diego understands the sensitivity of this situation and empathizes with the family and friends who lost their loved one. The memorial on Scripps Poway Parkway did need to be removed due to a code enforcement violation. City staff have been in communication with Ms. Haywood’s father, Orpheus Haywood, regarding the memorial, which was removed on Tuesday and been secured in preparation to be returned to the family.
