Tim Lambesis, frontman of San Diego metalcore band As I Lay Dying, has issued a lengthy apology to those affected by the appalling 2013 murder-for-hire plot directed at his then-wife of eight years -- a charge he was convicted of in 2014.
“Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused,” Lambesis wrote. “There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do.”
In 2013, a police sting operation arrested Lambesis after uncovering a murder-for-hire plot when he approached an undercover detective with $1,000, an envelope with pictures of his estranged wife, her address, gate alarm codes, and specific dates of when to carry out the murder.
Lambesis pleaded guilty to a felony murder solicitation charge and was sentenced to six years in prison on May 16, 2014. He was released on parole on Dec. 17, 2016.
For fans of As I Lay Dying, an immensely popular Christian metalcore band, the charges came as a shock. To add insult to injury, not long after his arrest, Alternative Press magazine published an extensive interview with Lambesis where he confessed that he and other band members had become atheists but continued to pose as Christians so they could keep selling records.
Since his release from prison, Lambesis has been quiet. However, that changed on the afternoon of Sunday, Dec. 17, when he posted a lengthy note (and his first public comments since his release) to the official As I Lay Dying Facebook page apologizing to his ex-wife, his children, his family, and his band's fans.
Lambesis’ full statement reads as follows:
“Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused. There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do.
“First, I apologize to my former wife and remarkable children for my appalling actions. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t wish I could undo the damage I caused, and out of respect for their wishes I will not discuss anything else about them (now or in the future). I also ask anyone reading this to promote healing for them by respecting their privacy and defending them from any negativity or anger which should be directed towards me. I was the sole offender and the only one to blame for everything that happened.
“To my family, I apologize for the trauma you faced and may still feel. This is an ongoing sentence many of you serve because of me. I am so sorry to my friends who were betrayed by everything I hid from them and all the hardships I caused people who used to work with me. Band mates, road crew, managers, attorneys, agents, label people, and more all had to suffer through many unexpected changes because of my actions. While they were dealing with the aftermath of my arrest, I responded toward many of them with bitterness that I should have directed toward myself. I know that I can’t undo the animosity I brought their way, but I hope to mend what I can now as time goes on.
“To the people who looked up to me as an artist, I let you down in so many ways. I tried to show my best side to the public, while feeding an ugly growing monster behind closed doors. I wrote lyrics about the person I wanted to be rather than the person that I was. I was living a life that lacked empathy and viewed everything through a self-motivated lens.
“I cannot say for certain what life looks like going forward as so much is different now and I’m still learning. Music always has and always will be a part of me, and has helped me get through the darkest parts of my journey. However, this apology is not a part of promoting anything. Rumors circulate, and that’s something I’ve learned to accept, but this apology is just that, an apology to everyone around me.
“I’ve remained silent to the public since expressing remorse at my sentencing because time seemed like the best way to promote healing. Today marks the first opportunity to freely apologize without any motivation to gain favor from the courts, as I have now completed the entirety of my legal sentence (including the completion of all parole/probation requirements). Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs. I do not feel deserving of a second chance and am not asking for anyone’s trust. The way many people feel about me makes sense, and only time will tell if my future actions line up with my remorse, something I pray for every day. In the last five years, the ripple effect of all my actions has extended further than a written statement can address. Thus, I will continue to apologize in both words and actions moving forward.
Thank you for reading,
As I Lay Dying formed in San Diego more than a decade ago and released eight albums, including the Grammy-nominated “An Ocean Between Us,” which came out in 2007, according to band publicity. The band was also a mainstay of the San Diego Music Awards, nominated in 2012 for Best Hard Rock Album for “Decas,” winning for Best Hard Rock the year before that. In 2005, 2007, and 2008, the band took home the SDMA award for Artist of the Year. As I Lay Dying were slated to go on a cross-country tour with the Massachusetts metal band Killswitch Engage until Lambesis’ arrest.