(Ed. Note: "I Hate My [expletive deleted] Fantasy Team!" is a weekly feature on Puck Daddy in which we vicariously live through two Yahoo! Fantasy Hockey GMs as they provide snarky advice and tales of woe. This week's author is The Rev. Zamboni from The Palm Isle. Enjoy.)
By The Rev. Zamboni
Hello November, crippling apathy is thy name! Here's my ridiculous team.
Save your miserable comments. Instead, send .jpgs of nearly naked women on ice skates to email@example.com. Cheer me up.
I dropped Dustin Byfuglien for Jay Bouwmeester this week, trading one falling fantasy star with a difficult-to-spell name for another. Here's to catching Bouwmeester on the upswing. (Here! Here!) Or a trade to Detroit/Vancouver/San Jose.
Along with that Bouwmeester move, I considered swapping out Petr Sykora for waiver-wire resident Jonathan Cheechoo, but somehow talked myself out of it and still can't figure out why. I guess it gives me something to agonize over for the next column.
I am nine points out of a playoff spot. Andrei Kostitsyn continues to (expletive deleted) himself shift after shift. Derek Roy is no better. And I've effectively removed Cristobal Huet from the lineup, keeping him as insurance in the event Carey Price goes down, or is attacked by one of Patrick Roy's kids.
The problem now is gaining ground.
This is a 12-team league, with 12 relatively hockey-savvy managers. As such, free agent pickings are slim. The top five available players as of Nov. 25 were: Brandon Dubinsky, Bill Guerin, Doug Weight, Dainius Zubrus and Brian Gionta.
Dubinsky is the only one who might be an upgrade for me, but he plays for the Rangers. And, as you'll infer from a visit to www.thepalmisle.blogspot.com, I don't carry Rangers. Ever.
The Milan Lucic exchange I made Nov. 3 (dropping Mikael Samuelsson), has been a wash in the weeks following (Lucic: 2G, 3A, 16 PIMs, Samuelsson: 3G, 5A, 0 PIMs) -- except for aesthetic value, which is becoming more important to me the closer this season comes to slipping away.
I still think Kostitsyn and Roy, and possibly even Sykora, can find some kind of rhythm in the coming weeks (months?). But they'd better do it pretty soon, and I'd better not see goalie lines of 0, 6.72, 0.813 when it happens.
Did I mention I drafted Marian Gaborik in the second round?
Send those pics. And beer.