(Ed. Note: "I Hate My [expletive deleted] Fantasy Team!" is a weekly feature on Puck Daddy in which we vicariously live through two Yahoo! Fantasy Hockey GMs as they provide snarky advice and tales of woe. This week's author is The Rev. Zamboni from The Palm Isle. Enjoy.)
By The Rev. Zamboni
The Bad Habitants are in fifth place, Marian Gaborik is back (at the expense of Andrei Kostitsyn -- good riddance) and I'm enjoying a boozy, hockey-free Christmas week.
Not watching the Islanders, although I get it. Not enjoying NHL 09 on the 360, and I don't get it. And missing the weekly ball-hockey game that has disintegrated as our members make babies, buy houses and change shifts at work. 'Tis the season of malaise.
There will be no roster tinkering in the season of familial embrace. With Gaborik returned, for the time being, I think the Habitants have finally achieved something that feels like continuity. The team leads the league in GAA, save percentage and plus/minus, and is tied for third in goals while sinking to the bottom third in remaining categories.
Cristobal Huet is a starting goaltender, Nikolai Khabibulin appears to be on his way out and the rest of the slow-starters have returned to form, for the most part.
Whoopedy do.
If this were a real hockey team, it would be the Minnesota Wild. We'll probably make the playoffs. We'll probably lose in the first or second round. We'll get into a few fights, but otherwise bore you to death.
Bah. You shouldn't be reading this anyway. Go get drunk. That's what I'm gonna do.
First one to name their team "Boris Valabik's Balls" gets to tongue kiss Aunt Lisa in the family room. Godspeed.
