"Outlandish" isn't the half of it when it comes to MTV's annual movie awards show. That's sort of the base point from which to start and build. In fact, we'll say that if you're a star and you're only outlandish then you need to talk to your manager about stepping up your game pronto. Like, yesterday.
Here are a few quick lessons, beyond up the outlandishness, we took away from this year's MTV Movie Awards:
-- Chris Isaak and a white cuddly pup. Works. Why hasn't the crooner been be-pupped for years? Chris, the pooch is perfect for you. Plus, you really looked like pals. Plus plus, dogs as accessories are so over. Stars should show with dogs when they really can't be away from those dogs, even for the four hours it takes to go to an awards show. And we believe Chris needed his little guy by his side for the night.
-- If you are the same room as, or within a square mile from, Sacha Baron Cohen, you can't ever feel totally relaxed. In fact, if you live in Los Angeles, and the "Bruno" actor is in town, you could find yourself in his act at any moment.
-- "Twilight" madness has legs. Serious, run-through-the-forest-at-supersonic-speeds legs. We're not sure it will even end after "Breaking Dawn" has been made, released, and is showing on cable around the clock. The stars seem a bit stunned by it all, and we're kind of stunned for them.
-- Short sparkly shoulder-padded 1984-ish dresses are really really really back. Really. See Sienna Miller.
-- Triumph the Insult Dog has already had a longer career than many a starlet. Maybe he is the pup aspiring celebrities should start showing up with and cuddling before the red-carpet cameras? A thought.