You would think the show-going experience would be a simple one, but more often than not, it seems like people forget everything Mommy taught them when they were in short pants after arriving at a music venue. We're all in this together, so here are eight things not to do.
Don't install a wall: If you're really tall (we're talking 6-foot-plus), don't stand in front of short people. We saw a Grizzly Business show at Soda Bar last weekend, and guess what? Folks related to bassist Brian Vilven (maybe the tallest guy in the scene) were all the way out. Why? They can see just fine there. There’s no law against the altitude-inclined from going up front, but who wants people to hate their back?
Don’t be a loud talker: Depends on the show, but if it's an intimate affair, take your thrilling, coke-fueled convo outside. Hard-working people paid hard-earned money to be at the show; the last thing they need to hear about is what an a--hole Dan in accounting is. You're not "talking" at this point, you're shouting louder than the music. Not cool.
Don't audition for lead singer: We love a good sing-along but there are very few occasions besides that when you should be competing with the band's lead singer volume-wise. You ain't Adele. Leave the karaoke skills in the car.
Don't live on your phone: In the unlikely event your drunk self actually posts them, no one's going to care about that string of awful 18-second videos on Instagram (they sound like crap and they look just as bad), so put the phone down and enjoy the show. Make memories. With people.
Don't be sloppy: We like to have a couple, too, but no one likes Sloppy Guy. Especially when he's spilling his drink (and -- much, much worse -- your drink) all over the neighbors. If you need a sippy cup, it's time to take your infant act home.
Don't skip the openers (or the headliners): We know, this one's tough, but sometimes the best part of a show is who’s playing before or after the band you actually went to see. We've seen countless openers unexpectedly play better sets than the headliners. Be the person who can say, "I remember when ______ opened for ______!"
Don't stiff the staff: Tip often and tip well. If you're a big tipper, chances are better that bartenders will be on the lookout for you when you come back. Also, don't be the person at the bar that doesn't know what they want. There's a time and a place to ask dumb questions, and a show ain't one of 'em. Get in and get out.
Don't be pushy: Maybe you showed up late, so you grab as many drinks as you can carry and literally push your way to the stage. People, come on: First of all, you're spilling those drinks all over everyone, and second of all, the people you're ramming through did their due diligence and staked out a spot. Why should they be punished? Pay your karma bill and join the Vilvens where you belong.
