Wednesday Watch List: The Power Of Ty

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and make profiteroles. Don’t know what profiteroles are? Well, profiteroles are little cream puffs filled with ice cream and then covered in hot fudge sauce. And if you don’t like the sound of that, then you and I will have words. LET’S GO!

MODERN FAMILY – 9:00PM (ABC)

Isn’t there some kind of supplemental midseason Emmy we can give to Ty Burrell? Because the man is a comedic acting genius. He’s brilliant. And he doesn’t even LOOK like a comic actor. He looks that dude who was on “The Pretender.” Just an incredible performance week to week. I love that guy. ANTICIPATION: PHIL DUNPHY RULES

SOUTH PARK – 10:00PM (Comedy Central)

Cartman’s favorite fried chicken joint gets shut down and a medicinal marijuana retailer takes its place. Why did it have to be the CHICKEN joint that got supplanted? People smoking marijuana most likely require fried chicken. Why couldn’t they have torn down a Talbot’s instead? No one goes in that place. ANTICIPATION: LEGALLY HIGH

IT’S THE EASTER BEAGLE, CHARLIE BROWN! – 8:00PM (ABC) Linus believes a magic Beagle will assist with Easter in this obvious attempt to create an Easter version of the Great Pumpkin. You should see all the other imaginary holiday creatures that Charles Schultz devised for Linus. Like the Flag Day Fox, who will bring you free sneakers every June. Or Manny, the Magical Labor Day Contract Worker, who builds an addition on your house every fall if you leave a pile of bricks outside your back door. Weird kid, that Linus. ANTICIPATION: JUST BELOW CRÈME EGGS

CRAZIEST CANINE CASTLES – 8:00PM (Fine Living)

A showcase of lavish abodes for dogs, abodes that are probably bigger than the one you live in right now. Who’s up for a tinkle in the infinity pool?! ANTICIPATION: MANSION’S BEST FRIEND!

IS IT POSSIBLE? – 10:00PM (Discovery Channel)

Real x-ray vision is on the docket tonight. Man, I can’t wait for that to become a reality, so I can go to the mall and check out all the fine babes… GAHHHHH WHY DID I BRING MY MOM WITH ME! UNSEE! UNSEE! ANTICIPATION: CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, PERVIES.

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