Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and retire from your White House press corps job after getting caught on camera saying that Swedish people need to “get the hell” out of your local IHOP. LET’S GO!
GLEE – 9:00PM (FOX) And now your 2009-2010 TV season comes to an official close with the season finale of FOX’s smash musical hit. Olivia Newton John guest stars as a regional finals judge. Almost a shame they couldn’t get John Travolta to come join her. OR DID THEY? No, just teasing. They didn’t. Sorry.
Tonight episode is called “Journey.” Any takers as to just whose songs might be covered this evening? If you said Bachman Turner Overdrive, go to your room and never come out. The Journey covers featured tonight include a reprise of “Don’t Stop Belivin’,” (hopefully with no smash to black before anything interesting has occurred), along with renditions of “Faithfully” and “Any Way You Want It.” If the latter song isn’t performed with students dancing around an oversized golf club bag, I’ll be sorely disappointed. ANTICIPATION: HEY EVERYONE, WE’RE ALL GONNA GET SINGY!
PRETTY LITTLE LIARS – 8:00PM (ABC Family) It’s the premiere of this new ABC Family show based on Sara Shepard’s best-selling young adult books. The premise is this: A group of ultrapopular girls are haunted by the now deceased (murdered?) leader of their clique. She sends text messages from the grave! Which is still a more welcome development than getting text messages from Verizon. Stop harassing me! I’m already a customer, man! ANTICIPATION: MEAN GHOSTS!
HELL’S KITCHEN – 8:00PM (FOX) I’d like this show far more if the chefs they brought in appeared to be talented, as they are on Top Chef and on other good foodie competitions. But I feel like Fox just picks the crummiest chefs they can, so that Gordon can yell at them more. I like yelling as much as anyone, but the food porn addict in me demands someone who can make a proper gastrique. ANTICIPATION: BOLLOCKS!
LAKERS/CELTICS – 9:00PM (ABC) The series shifts to Boston tonight. The Celtics won game 2 thanks to Ray Allen playing out of his skull and Kobe Bryant getting in early foul trouble. At least one of those two things won’t happen again this evening, I assure you. ANTICIPATION: SEPIA FOOTAGE OF BOB COUSY!
DAILY SHOW – 11:00PM (Comedy Central) Tonight’s guest is Christopher Hitchens. And if you’re feeling bad about how much you had to drink on this Tuesday evening, don’t worry. Hitchens drank more than you. Far more. ANTICIPATION: DRUNKEN ATHEISTS!