Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and count down the days until the “Mad Men” season premiere. Only three days to go. Oh man, we’re just three days away from Christina Hendricks’ hips jammed into the world’s most uncomfortable corset. Stupid time, go faster! LET’S GO!
ACE OF CAKES – 10:00PM (Food Network) Tonight, a request comes in to bake a cake in the shape of KITT from “Knight Rider”. Holy smokes. A KITT cake! Tell me that wouldn’t be the greatest Bar Mitzvah cake of all time. I hope they put a speaker chip inside the frosting, so that the cake can actually speak to you in a fey, pedantic voice. That would be so cool. “Why are you eating me, Michael? Is it because I’m full of delicious sucralose?” ANTICIPATION: FAST AND SWEET!
BOSTON MED – 10:00PM (ABC) A doctor gets emotionally involved with a heart transplant patient. Dangit, Doc! You just violated the first rule of med school! NEVER get emotionally involved with a patient. Never show weakness. Never show you care. In fact, be openly HOSTILE to all patients. Always show up late for your appointments. And always treat them like vile, ignorant scum. That’s how any REAL doctor does his business. Anyway, let’s hope tonight’s doc doesn’t get too close to her patient, then marry him, then kill him by accident, then see his ghost and have an affair with it. What’s that? That only happens on “Grey’s Anatomy”? Whatever. ANTICIPATION: SAD!
BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED? – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) The question mark in the title of this show makes me irrationally angry. Anyway, tonight Bethenny’s water breaks. If it’s not imported Voss water spilling out of her, there’s gonna be hell to pay. ANTICIPATION: SELFISH ANNOYING PEOPLE!
THE LADIES OF DEMOLITION DERBY – 10:00PM (TLC) They can trade paint with me any time. ANTICIPATION: SEXY!
MANSON: THE NOTORIOUS CRIME AND TRIAL – 10:00PM (A&E) Before he used his booming voice to make you all ready for seriousness, Bill Kurtis was a junior reporter covering the Manson trial. Tonight he recounts being there for the whole ordeal, a story so creepy and disturbing it’ll give you nightmares hearing it again. WACKY FUN!