Short-Haired Women Aren't Hot

The NY Daily News says pixie hair is back -- apparently, so are silly clichés about sex appeal

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Victoria Beckham's namedropped in an article about how pixie hair kills your attractiveness. She's not going to be happy about that.

    We came across this piece in the New York Daily News about how pixie haircuts are back in vogue for women, thanks to short-haired ladies like Victoria Beckham, Rihanna, and Elisha Cuthbert (the first two we get, but Elisha Cuthbert? Does that count?). But that's not really what the article is about.

    It's all in the headline. "Edgy pixie haircuts are back, but do they kill your attraction?" Or, as Eloise Parker writes semi-anecdotally, more women are chopping off their locks -- but are they also chopping off their prettiness? Will they be beset with "the curse of the crop"?

    We sort of suspect this has more to do with the paper being desperate to print something - anything - upbeat and human interesty as we brace for the next unemployment statistics, but still: the old "girls with short hair don't get any" saw? Really? How about girls in pants, is that a big no-no, too? And what about - God forbid - eyeglasses? Does this mean that the women of the Yearning for Zion Ranch are having more sex than we are, with our short 'do?

    Naturally, Parker found some "experts" willing to lay it on thick, including a "Manhattan dating guru," a woman named Bonnie whose sex life dried up after she went short, and a sexpert named Dr. Aline Zoldbrod (hmm, anagram?) who chirps that "If you cut your hair you might be making a statement that says, 'I don't want to be seen as a sex object.'"

    We're not sure what this says about all those women back in September who wanted to have Sarah Palin hair - the Times even dispatched a reporter to her Wasilla beauty parlor, for heaven's sake - maybe "I want to be taken seriously, but not too seriously?" And what about the long-haired boys? What message is poor, perpetually, televisedly single Bret Michaels sending? Is his girl-hair standing in the way of him finding true love?