The good folks at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington are pushing the culinary envelope with this lovely menu addition.
It's the Champion Dog.
Two feet long, it weighs a full pound and comes topped with chili, cheese, sauteed onions and jalapenos, plus a side of fries, for the bargain price of $26. A friend of mine called it "a steal." If he means, it'll steal years off your life, I completely agree. The folks selling the gastrointestinal giant say they hope one person doesn't try to tackle the monster alone.
"It wasn't our intention for this to be what one person would eat. I know there will be folks out there who can handle that and that's their business," said Shawn Mattox, the general manager of the Rangers food contractor, Sportservice.
Mattox joked that he isn't even sure how many calories are in the dish. Well, with a little math and common comparators, we can get a pretty good idea.
Foot-long dogs average 560 calories, with 267 calories for the bun. Double that, it's 1,654 calories.
Then, add in two cups of chili, that's about 600 calories. Say it's a cup of cheese, that's another 455 calories. Jalapenos we won't worry about, but the onions are sauteed in some kind of fat, so that's another 125 calories. The side of fries tacks on another 500.
For a grand total of 3,334 calories!
Even if three people share it, they're still over 1,100 calories for one meal.
If they really wanted to make it a great deal, the people selling this "meal" should include a coupon for 50% off your next quadruple bypass.