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Terrifying Shirtless Man With Ponytail Really Likes The Cowboys

By Drew Magary
|  Tuesday, Aug 17, 2010  |  Updated 11:52 AM PDT
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Shirtless Man With Ponytail Pens NFL Fight Song

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You know, there’s a certain downside to being America’s Team.

Sure, being America’s Team means the Dallas Cowboys have a fanbase that stretches from the East Coast to the West Coast, and from Mexico to the Canadian border. That’s delightful. But being America’s Team means you also collect your fair share of yahoos and shirtless nutjobs from all over. It’s a very large pool of crazy to draw from. And from that pool comes Matthias, a Cowboys fan from Temecula.

Matthias created video of his new proposed “chant” for his favorite team. Do not watch this video with small children or animals around. In fact, you may want to refrain from viewing it altogether.

 

Performed & composed by 50 year old MATTHIAS

Temecula, Southern California - August 16, 2010

A gift to all Dallas Cowboy fans and Mr. Jerral Jones ...

And what a gift it is. It’s like being given Cowboys Stadium all over again. I watched this video in its entirely several times for you readers, because I love you. And I transcribed Matthias’s chant so that you can have it READY TO GO for the next Chargers game. As you can see, it's easy to customize. Our additions are in parenthesis.

We sell. Out. (Some) games because we’re the best team in the world,

We’re the (San Diego Chargers) and we will ROCK YOUR WORLD!

Come on, (Chargers!) Let’s put on a show!

Come on, you (Chargers!) Let’s get to the Super Bowl!

Come on, (Chargers!) Let’s put on a show!

Come on, you (Chargers!) Let’s get to the Super Bowl!

Come on, you (Chargers!) Let’s get to the Super Bowl!

AHHHHHHH!!!

(makes serial killer face)

Anyway, we salute Matthias for his gift to the Cowboys - and with a little effort, all NFL teams really - and especially admire how he was able to rhyme “world” with “world”. Not an easy task.

Now, San Diego Chargers, go rock his world! AHHHHHH!!!

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