It’s never too early to make wild, borderline irresponsible predictions on an NFL season so let’s take a game-by-game look at the schedule the San Diego Chargers will play in 2016 and give a game-by-game pre-cap of how they’re going to do, even though we haven’t had the Draft yet and we don’t know how they’ll be effected by injuries and possible trades.
Remember, this is the hype machine that IS the National Football League. Logic need not apply.
WEEK 1 AT KANSAS CITY
The Bolts return to Arrowhead Stadium to face the Chiefs in the season opener. San Diego has not fared well their last two trips to Missouri, scoring a combined 10 points in a pair of losses. The Chiefs are coming off a season where they won a playoff game and have gone 31-17 in three seasons under Andy Reid. The Bolts put up a good fight but Jamaal Charles returns from a knee injury and goes crazy with 150 yards and two touchdowns to lead KC to a 27-23 win.
WEEK 2 VS. JACKSONVILLE
The Chargers’ home opener has a couple of things going for it. One is they’re back in the building where, last December 20, they beat the Dolphins in what many believed would be the final home game in San Diego Chargers history. The emotion of that day helped them beat Miami and the emotion of them returning will help them beat Jacksonville. The Jaguars are improving but Philip Rivers owns them. In six career starts he’s gone 5-1 with 15 touchdowns and four picks while completing 71 percent of his passes. Philip goes for 400 yards in the Bolts’ 30-24 win.
WEEK 3 AT INDIANAPOLIS
The Colts have not fared well early in the season under Chuck Pagano and they haven’t really addressed their awful offensive line and they need a pass rusher who’s closer to 30 than 40 (Robert Mathis) but let’s not kid ourselves. Andrew Luck can still shred a defense if he has anything resembling time. I see this one being a lot like last year’s game in Green Bay where Rivers has a historic afternoon, helped by a 200-yard receiving day from Keenan Allen, but the Colts still find a way to get a 24-20 win.
WEEK 4 VS. NEW ORLEANS
The last time Drew Brees played a game at Qualcomm Stadium he was the starting quarterback for the Chargers and a Broncos defender shredded his shoulder. That was the last time a QB not named Philip Rivers started a game for the Bolts. Brees was kicked out the door by then-General Manager A.J. Smith and landed in New Orleans, where he became a Hall of Famer. It certainly did not work out poorly for the Bolts, either, since Rivers is one ring away from being a Canton shoe-in, too. But Brees has a long memory and he’s going to want to put on a show. Saints win 28-27.
WEEK 5 AT OAKLAND
The Raiders keep getting young and good, and that’s not a solid combination for the Bolts. This will be a defensive slugfest with at least one D scoring a touchdown off a turnover. Khalil Mack will make life miserable for Rivers going against the San Diego offensive line, which is still in dire need of a true center to help out. Raiders win 17-13.
WEEK 6 VS. DENVER (THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL)
Denver doesn’t know who its quarterback is yet. They don’t need to. With that defense the Chargers have no chance. Broncos take it 20-6.
WEEK 7 AT ATLANTA
The Falcons can’t rush the passer at all. Even if they address it in the Draft they’ll likely be only marginally better. One thing you cannot do is let Philip Rivers have time to throw. He’ll have just that and the San Diego running game will start to click, too, as the new scheme put in by Offensive Coordinator Ken Whisenhunt gets Melvin Gordon his first career 100-yard game (I’m assuming he’ll have his first TD by this time but he’ll definitely get in today). The Chargers snap a 4-game losing skid with a 33-23 win.
WEEK 8 AT DENVER
It was bad at Qualcomm Stadium; it will get worse at Sports Authority Field. Broncos 23, Chargers 3.
WEEK 9 VS. TENNESSEE
If anyone knows how to beat the Titans and emerging quarterback Marcus Mariota it’s Whisenhunt. The Titans are in full-blown rebuilding mode and likely won’t be all that competitive for a while so the Bolts should be able to take advantage of it. Allen will have another big game with 150-plus yards receiving and two scores to help the Bolts get another W, 34-16.
WEEK 10 VS. MIAMI
The Dolphins are a complete mystery to me. They have all kinds of talent but have played so far below that level it’s hard to know just what kind of team we’re dealing with. If new head coach Adam Gase is able to get everyone on the same page and help Ryan Tannehill start living up to his contract Miami will be a threat. If not, they’re still just a bunch of guys in teal. By Week 10 they’ll probably be somewhere in the middle and the Chargers should be able to pick them off at home, 23-21.
WEEK 11 BYE
WEEK 12 AT HOUSTON
They have two weeks to get ready for J.J. Watt. They still won’t be able to block him. That man is too darn good. Brock Osweiler did not fare well in his last start against the Bolts (although most of those five turnovers where not his fault) and the new Texans QB will have a firm grasp of his new offense by Week 12. That adds up to a Texans win. Houston 24, Chargers 17.
WEEK 13 VS. TAMPA BAY
The Bucs are getting better fast and might even flirt with the .500 mark this year. Jameis Winston, however, is about to enter his sophomore season. That is typically the year most quarterbacks take a step back as they have to learn more of the playbook and defensive coordinators have a year’s-worth of tape to break down on them. The Chargers get a good game plan from John Pagano to force a couple of turnovers and win 27-17.
WEEK 14 AT CAROLINA
Is it possible to just forfeit? Panthers 45, Chargers 10.
WEEK 15 VS. OAKLAND
The Raiders lost a lot of steam down the stretch last year. That often happens with a young team. They’ll be better off this time around but the Chargers find a way to eek one out at home late in the season, 16-13 the final.
WEEK 16 AT CLEVELAND (SATURDAY, 12/24)
The NFL is making Philip Rivers, the league’s biggest family man, go on the road for Christmas Eve. That is going to tick him right off. The Bolts erase the pain of their last trip to Cleveland (the Robert Meachem drop) and Rivers takes out some frustration on arguably the worst team in the NFL in a 27-6 win.
WEEK 17 VS. KANSAS CITY
In 2013 and 2014 the Chargers needed to beat the Chiefs on the final day of the season to get in to the playoffs. They won’t have that luxury this time around. They also won’t have a win as Kansas City gains some momentum for their post-season run with a 20-10 win.
So, once we count up the wins and losses we’re looking at a 7-9 football team, which should earn head coach Mike McCoy a pink slip but instead earns him another one-year contract extension. Because, you know … Chargers.
