Modern Morality Tales
Learning harsh lessons from Mark Sanford & Steve McNair
By ROBERT A. GEORGE
Updated 8:20 PM PST, Wed, Jul 8, 2009
Aside from having had successful careers in Southern states, it would be hard to find two more different men than Mark Sanford and Steve McNair. The former is a white conservative Republican governor of South Carolina. The latter was a black man born and raised in the poorest state in the union, but through almost force of will alone, he became an All-Pro NFL quarterback who led his team to the Super Bowl and became an MVP in the league.
Sadly though, they come together as poster children for modern morality tales. Sanford's Peyton Place-style melodrama involving his Argentine "soul-mate" has produced both ridicule and scorn. McNair, however, was discovered dead in a condo in Nashville Friday, the victim of gun violence. He was apparently dating Sahel Kazemi for several months. Early reports point to a likely murder-suicide, though authorities are cautious about making a final determination as yet.
Either way, the circumstances of his death underscores the not-so-funny side of adultery.
Despite their differences, Sanford and McNair weren't completely dissimilar. They both, for instance, were fathers to four boys. Whether Sanford will continue to be an at-home father to his four sons remains to be seen -- depending on how much forgiveness Jenny Sanford can find within herself. Steve McNair no longer has that option. His boys will now grow up fatherless. Mechelle McNair, meanwhile, appears to have been less in the know on her husband's philandering than Jenny Sanford was.
It's interesting: Of the Ten Commandments, the first six all have to do with man's relationship with God (thou shall have other gods before me, keeping the sabbath, etc.) and one's parents; after that is, "Thou shall not murder." And then next, before theft or anything else is, "Thou shall not commit adultery." In other words, of all the commandments having to do with man's behavior with others, the ban against adultery is second most important. One doesn't have to be ultra-religious (or religious at all) to see why such a rule is so foremost in the Judeo-Christian tradition. It's not merely to instill fears of damnation in the afterlife: It's to create a sense of terrestrial order as well. The passions of humans being what they are, once unleashed, who knows where they'll end up?
The 36-year-old McNair apparently thought that buying his girlfriend a Cadillac Escalade was a good enough token of affection. She apparently thought she was getting more -- like maybe a ring. Ironically, Sanford seems a little bit "better" in this regard in that he seems genuinely to be "in love" with Maria Belen Chapur -- and is on the verge of destroying his career and marriage over it. In the short term, he may have avoided the loss of the former. It's too soon to say about the latter. Again, McNair's error -- or sin, as would be said in a more judgmental time -- has come at a far greater cost than just either material or marital fortunes.
Instead, it is a mortal error with a mortal cost -- and the penalty is to be paid by many more than McNair alone. Even if McNair's end turns out to be a more complex double-homicide (i.e., someone else killed his girlfriend), did he truly want this to be the last memory that the public and his children have of him -- dead next to his mistress?
Chris Rock has a great truest-things-are-said-in-jest lines: "A man is only as faithful as his options." Public male figures -- politicians, entertainers, professional athletes, etc. -- may have many more options. Alas, fate has the power to shut down those options.
New York writer Robert A. George blogs at Ragged Thots. Follow him on Twitter.
Copyright NBC Local Media
First Published: Jul 7, 2009 3:38 PM PST
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