A Way-Too-Early Prediction of the 2017 Chargers Record

We take a look at how each game will transpire for the Bolts

I will admit this to you right off the top … I am allowing my personal bias against the ownership of the Chargers enter the equation here.

I took a couple of days after the release of the 2017 NFL Schedule to think before attempting to predict the outcome of every game. Sure we haven’t even had the NFL Draft yet but this is professional football! It’s the sports media’s job to make outrageous claims in April to get clicks.

Now that you have the full story, here’s the full story on how the 2017 season is going to go for the Chargers:

Monday, 9/11 at Denver

The Broncos don’t have a QB but they still have a darn good defense and the energy in that building on MNF is going to be intense. Plus the Chargers have dropped three of their last four season openers. New head coach Anthony Lynn will have to wait a while for his first W.

Final score: Broncos 22, Chargers 18

Sunday, 9/17 vs. Miami

The first “home” game at StubHub Center is going to give Dean Spanos a glimpse at what the rest of his two seasons in Carson will be like; lots and lots of opposing team’s fans filling the joint up. Miami will take another one is only slightly less dramatic fashion than they did last year at the Q.

Final score: Dolphins 30, Chargers 27

Sunday, 9/24 vs. Kansas City

The Chiefs are simply a better football team than the Bolts. That will be on display in Carson with lots of red in the stands. Much like the final game of last year (the last one ever played in Mission Valley), Alex Smith will play mistake-free ball and the Chiefs will win by double digits.

Final score: Chiefs 35, Chargers 20

Sunday, 10/1 vs. Philadelphia

Carson Wentz will buck typical young QB trends and take massive leaps forward in his 2nd season as a starter and former Bolts backs Darren Sproles and Ryan Mathews will score a TD each (Sproles doing it on special teams), outdueling Philip Rivers and company.

Final score: Eagles 33, Chargers 31

Sunday, 10/8 at New York Giants

With the addition of Brandon Marshall the Giants are going to have one of the most lethal passing attacks in the NFL. The Chargers will have Verrett and Hayward but still need another corner to deal with that aerial assault.

Final score: Giants 27, Chargers 21

Sunday, 10/15 at Oakland

The Raiders would have won the AFC West had Derek Carr not suffered a broken leg. They’re only going to be better this year. In the “Battle of Teams in Temporary Homes” the Las Vegas Raiders of Oakland pull away from the Los Angeles Chargers of Carson with big plays in the 4th quarter.

Final score: Raiders 29, Chargers 24

Sunday, 10/22 vs. Denver

By now the Broncos STILL will not have a QB. Remember, last season it was a win over Denver on Thursday Night Football that, like Groundhog Day, gave us 11 more weeks of Mike McCoy. This time the coach’s job is not on the line and the Broncos will complete the sweep.

Final score: Broncos 21, Chargers 16

Sunday, 10/29 at New England

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Final score: Patriots 47, Chargers 12

BYE WEEK

I will not make the gratuitous joke about the Chargers losing to the BYE week here.

Sunday, 11/12 at Jacksonville


Rivers always plays well against the Jags and he will again. But this time Jacksonville, with its resurgent running game behind T.J. Yeldon and whichever back they take in the 1st round, has enough to pull off a win.

Final score: Jaguars 20, Chargers 17

Sunday, 11/19 vs. Buffalo

I really don’t know what to make out of the Bills. I do know the Chargers have traditionally had trouble with mobile quarterbacks and Tyrod Taylor (who I see keeping the starting job all year) is certainly that. He’ll cause all kinds of problems for the Bolts defense in a shootout win.

Final score: Bills 41, Chargers 39

Thursday, 11/23 at Dallas

It’s a tradition for the Cowboys to play on Thanksgiving Day at home. This will be the 40th straight year for Dallas to host a game on Thanksgiving but the first time they’ll go it against the Chargers. The Bolts will hope it’s the last after Ezekiel Elliott and company turn it in to a Turkey Trot.

Final score: Cowboys 30, Chargers 20

Sunday, 12/3 vs. Cleveland

The Chargers gifted the Browns their only win of the season last year. Time for a reversal of fortune. In a battle for the #1 overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft the Chargers come out on top but it’ll be ugly.

Final score: Chargers 11, Browns 9

Sunday, 12/10 vs. Washington

The Redskins should be in the post-season conversation again in 2017. Do not expect them to allow the Chargers to run their winning streak to two games.

Final score: Redskins 26, Chargers 17

Saturday, 12/16 at Kansas City

This is the time of year where the Chiefs get really good. A prime time game at Arrowhead Stadium could be a bloodletting but Rivers is good enough to keep it from becoming a major blowout with a couple of TD passes to Antonio Gates.

Final score: Chiefs 23, Chargers 21

Sunday, 12/24 at New York Jets

Why the NFL schedule makers think it’s OK to put a team in another city on both Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Eve I will never understand but this is just wrong and unfair to the players and coaches. The Jets enjoy home field advantage and win a close, low-scoring affair.

Final score: Jets 13, Chargers 10

Sunday, 12/31 vs. Oakland

The anticipation will be building all season for the one game we all really wanted to experience: the first time the Raiders will play in Los Angeles since 1994. Oakland will have its post-season spot wrapped up and likely rest a lot of guys but still … there’s no way they lose this game in front a silver & black crowd.

Final score: Raiders 27, Chargers 20

Based on that scientific analysis of the matchups ahead of them, the first Chargers season in Los Angeles since 1960 will finish with a 1-15 record but don't worry! Jimmy Johnson's first season in Dallas was a 1-15 disaster but that worked out OK. I'm sure this ownershi[p group can make the same kind of turnaround. Totally.

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