Jon Stewart Announces October “Rally to Restore Sanity” in D.C.

Fake newsman Jon Stewart plans to hold a real rally in Washington D.C. in an attempt to cool off the hot rhetoric currently dominating the nation's political discourse.

On the September 16 episode of "The Daily Show," Stewart unveiled plans for the "Rally to Restore Sanity" set for October 30 - "a date of no significance whatsoever", reports Entertainment Weekly.

Also calling the event "A Million Moderate March," the jokester said he wanted to attract the "70-to-80% of Americans who aren't extremists on the right or the left," to come to the National Mall with an appeal to "Take It Down A Notch For America."

The event's website offered a profile of the expected attendee:

"We're looking for people who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and terrible for your throat."

Saying that he understands that the crowd he hopes to attract would normally "have s#$% to do," as opposed to other protesters, Stewart offered to pass out pre-made signs to attendees. Among them: "I Disagree With You But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler," "9/11 was an outside job," and "Legalize Pot."

The timing of the rally happens to coincide with "The Daily Show's" already scheduled visit to the nation's capital, happening October 25-28.

Not to be outdone, Stewart's sometimes partner in crime, the bombastic Stephen Colbert, announced on his show that he'll also host a D.C. rally on the same day entitled, "March to Keep Fear Alive."

Colbert's rally got a jolt of energy this week from the social media website Reddit.com, whose members have raised over $194,000 for DonorsChoose.org, a non-profit that funds classroom projects around the country that Colbert has affiliated himself with.

The faux-conservative host sent a letter to the website thanking them for their contributions.

"Despite how silly and nonsexual Reddit can be, your true colors show when someone is in need," he wrote.

Selected Reading: EW, New York, CNN

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