Photos and VideosMore Photos and Videos
Ah. Violet and white are NYU's colors, which explains half of everybody's outfits last week, and also one more dimension of how sweet Chuck is being. Neat. And it seems like he only fondles his necktie when he says the words "business" or "meeting," so there you go.
In the second home run in a row, Blair and Chuck spend the episode fighting over a photo up for bid at Sotheby's. The idea itself is silly, but the setup is valid: he needs it to impress a club owner so he can make Victrola 2.0, while B needs it for admission to La Table Élitaire, a secret salon that will prove her intellectual worth.
B, who dated Carter when she was in free-fall last year, explains to Serena that she is dating Carter because she's in free-fall this year. S doesn't believe it, even though he's acting like Chuck plus Aaron Rose. Then S, who was the subject of Georgina's obsession in the first season, tells Dan that he is going to be the subject of G's obsession this year. Lonelyboy doesn't believe it, even though he has been present for every messed-up thing G has ever done.
Scott's been spending enough time at Lily's stalking Rufus that it's making Jenny and Eric uncomfortable. With her unerring nose for other people's private stuff, Vanessa instantly gets Scott to admit he's not an NYU student, but Rufus and Lily's stalkery son. Dan and G investigate, but only figure out that he's Dan's literary stalker from last year.
Nate and Bree Buckley make faces and sounds at each other. Oh, and I'm guessing Carter had something to do with her sister-cousin's ruined wedding that she whined about that time on that farm.
V drags Scott to Sotheby's so he can out himself to Rufus, but even after his mom gives her blessing in front of a photo of Little Edie, he lies and says he's the other brother, and that he stalked Dan and dated V and took guitar lessons from Rufus because he... Was just obsessed with his dead adopted brother's biological parents for some reason? Scott and V hug and cry so long their mascara runs, and G figures out that he's Pilot Inspektor.
S realizes Chuck and B have been setting Carter up to look like a heel in order to protect her, so she buys the photograph out from under them both and tosses her hair around a lot. Eventually she gives the photo to B, who gives it to Chuck, who rediscovers his inner fire. S realizes the whole Table Élitaire deal -- and thus the whole C/B war -- was a Georgina scheme, so Dan dumps her.
To the summery tones of Miike Snow's "Animal," then, Chuck decides to cash out of Bass Industries altogether and buy a hotel on his own, which sounds scary; Bree threatens to use Nate/Serena to hunt Carter down, maybe literally, in order to get back in her family's favor; S brings Carter to a van der Humphrey breakfast; G heads to Boston to destroy/extort/enlist Pilot Inspektor; and there's still no Lily, Jenny or Eric happening. On the other hand, Tyra Banks and Montana McGuire next week.
For more from Television Without Pity: