Explosions Nearly Make Adam Lambert's Guyliner Run

"Idol" runner-up too busy singing in new video to save the world

By GREG JANDA

Updated 6:00 AM PST, Thu, Nov 5, 2009

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You know what makes Adam Lambert's latest video for the upcoming "2012" soundtrack awesome? Explosions.

The "American Idol" runner up (and incredible example of the power of guyliner) will be dropping his first album Nov. 23, but you don't have to wait to see the four-minute pyrotechnic-fest "Time for Miracles."

Time For Miracles

Adam Lambert | MySpace Video

Frankly, it's a miracle no one was crushed under the weight of those CGI effects courtesy of the Cusack-driven apocalyptic "2012" that opens Nov. 13. Obviously, it makes sense to cross-promote a big budget disaster flick with the guy who couldn't even win a show that gave us Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard. Was David Cook busy? At least he had the hard-rocking chops to give us something closer to Chad Kroeger's "Hero," the anthem that gave "Spider-Man" an epic boost.

Plus, whoever the director was certainly didn't get the memo that explosions are welcome additions to hard rock epics or anything by Motorhead, but pretty much the opposite of what you want to see in a ballad. A "Time for Miracles" does not translate well to a "Time for many, many things to explode around me, leaving me remarkably unscathed, yet ineffective in saving ANY victims of the apocalypse." It's like every propane company in the city decided to leave out their wares while Lambert walked around lighting fires.

Maybe instead of screeching from the rooftops about miracles, he could have helped out the innocent skateboard riders that happened to pass by during the end of the world.

I guess I'm just showing my age, but in my day, videos had some cohesive meaning. Billy Idol did have a motorcycle ride through a stained glass window with his face on it, after all.

Greg Janda writes for NBC Local Media and avoided using the term "glambert" during the article, though it was extremely difficult.