Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you head out to the country to cut down your Christmas tree. Just an eight-hour drive to the back woods! Grab your hacksaw and smell that fresh mountain air, before realizing the tree you cut down was actually state property and that you may have committed a felony. LET’S GO!
THE HASSELHOFFS – 10:00PM Sunday (A&E) You would have thought that David Hasselhoff would have gotten his own reality show four years ago. But no! The Hoff likes to take his time before agreeing to a clearly scripted procession of strained antics. Will he get loaded in front of his kids again? Even the talking car knows the answer to that. ANTICIPATION: HOFF-BASE!
CMT ARTISTS OF THE YEAR – 8:00PM Tonight (CMT) Because no week is complete without a country music awards show, tonight you get this relatively tidy special featuring Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, and Lady Antebellum. And it’s all hosted by… Kevin Costner? Really? Does mean Larry Holmes will be hosting the Grammys? Because that would make just as much sense. ANTICIPATION: TWANGY!
BAMA BELLES – 10:00PM Sunday (TLC) TLC’s latest reailty show is shockingly devoid of multiple children, Sarah Palin, or people with 500-lb. tumors. Instead, it’s a reality show about catty Southern lasses. Oh, yes. Because the “Real Housewives” series so rarely airs, you see. ANTICIPATION: ALABAMA SLAMMER!
CELEBRITY HOLIDAY HOMES – 8:00PM Saturday (HGTV) Check out the cribs of Sherri Shepherd, Trisha Yearwood, and Brooke Burke. You know what floors me? Whenever they give you a tour of some supporting actor on some TV show and the place is HUGE and you know full well that the actor in question can’t afford to live there for more than a couple years, or whenever the show is canceled. It’s like watching a repo man’s daydream. ANTICIPATION: LAVISH!
VH1 DIVAS SALUTE THE TROOPS – 9:00PM Sunday (VH1) Kathy Griffin hosts this salute to our men in uniform, because there’s nothing a red-blooded American male enjoys more than watching Kathy Griffin specials. Performing for the boys will be Nicki Minaj, Sugarland, Paramore, and Katy Perry, whose body alone is salute enough. ANTICIPATION: DIVAS!