CHICAGO - JUNE 11: Kanye West attends the press conference for Kanye West S.H.O.W.S Up at Hotel Sax on June 11, 2009 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and welcome October back into your life. October’s the best, isn’t it? Football, 50-degree weather, foliage. Why can’t you be more like good ol’ Octy, February?! LET’S GO!
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE – 11:35PM Saturday (NBC) “Breaking Bad” star Brian Cranston, who has quite an extensive comedy background thanks to his days at “Seinfeld” and “Malcolm In The Middle,” is your host. And your musical guest? Why, it’s the one and only Kanye West. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S KANYE I’M TYPIN SO HARD ON MY MACBOOK AIR NOW DAMN! If the SNL writers do not plan to interrupt one of his performances in a gesture to the Taylor Swift incident, they will have failed you. ANTICIPATION: TOUCH THE SKY!
SMALLVILLE – 8:00PM Tonight (CW) I can’t believe this show is still on the air. It’s stunning. Do you know anyone who watches it? I don’t. There must be an audience out there for it that is completely divorced from the rest of the nation. Like some sort of leper colony of “Smallville” viewers that keeps Tom Welling employed from week to week. What kind of storylines do they have now? Shouldn’t Superman be dead of old age or something at this point? I almost want to tune in, because I’d be the latest Smallville bandwagon jumper in history. Tonight, Cat Grant comes into replace Lois at the Daily Planet. This is unlike real life, in which a newspaper reporter’s position would be replaced with thin air. ANTICIPATION: FLYING AND STUFF!
THE NEXT IRON CHEF – 9:00PM Sunday (Food Network) It’s the season premiere of this cooking competition, and the contestants must make a sandwich (daunting!), and then must create a meal using the one ingredient they’d want with them if stranded on a desert island. You regular folks can have your water, or your beef, or your bananas. Me? I’ll be damned if I have to go one day without my prized white truffle oil! It makes banana leaves taste like ECSTASY. ANTICIPATION: FLAMING!
DEXTER – 9:00PM Sunday (Showtime) I forgot to address the season premiere last week, so time to rectify that. “Dexter” is one of those shows I don’t watch because I’m too cheap for pay cable and because my wife won’t ever watch a show about serial killing. But one day, when I am old and retired and have nothing to do, I will totally catch up. ANTICIPATION: BLOOD!