Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you vote in your state’s Senate primary today. What’s that? You’re not voting in the primary? WHAT KIND OF ARKANSASAN ARE YOU?! I see you don’t give a whit about who will end up on the ballot for Town Crier and County Dog Catcher. You make me sick. LET’S GO!
GLEE – 9:00PM (FOX) This is the big one. “Buffy” creator Joss Whedon directs this episode featuring guest star Neil Patrick Harris. These two collaborated on “Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog,” which was a huge web sensation. Now they come over to “Glee” to make it all geeky and cool. Harris plays a former high school nemesis of Will’s, and his presence threatens the glee club. Have you EVER seen glee club more under siege than this one? They need a moat around them, so many people are gunning for it. Tonight’s episode is called “Dream On” and all the songs have, you guessed it, dreams as their theme. So you get covers of Aerosmith’s “Dream On,” Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” and “The Safety Dance,” which isn’t about dreamers but was long overdue to be covered by the “Glee” people anyway. ANTICIPATION: EVEN MUSCIALLYER!
THE BIGGEST LOSER – 8:00PM (NBC) The final four tubbies compete in a marathon. This episode is only two hours long, so I assume the race was ended generously for time. I don’t know about you, but I find watching fat people run far more entertaining than watching skinny people run. ANTICIPATION: LOOK AT THAT BLUBBER FLY!
AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX) Only three singers remain, and you have your choice between the white girl with the dreads, that DeWyze guy (that is so not his real last name), and some other guy. The judges get to choose one song for each performer tonight. I hope one of them choose KISS’s “Let’s Put The X In Sex,” just to mess with them. ANTICIPATION: SLOW DEATH!
LOST – 9:00PM (ABC) Only two episodes left! Tonight’s episode is called “What They Died For.” WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! Does it mean they’re finally ready to give us answers? What is Locke’s new strategy? What is the difference between jam and marmalade? Who rocks the party that rocks the party? WHY ARE THESE PANTS SO TIGHT? So many questions. ANTICIPATION: MARMALADE HAS RIND IN IT!
WORLD’S TALLEST CHILDREN – 8:00PM (TLC) A solid hour of parents bragging that their kid is in the 99th percentile. Look how advanced my mutant giant baby is! ANTICIPATION: GIANT KIDS!