Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and wonder of Sandra can ever find it in her heart to take Jesse back. LET’S GO!
SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS – 8:00PM (CBS) Tonight, there’s a power struggle in one of the alliances. THE HELL, YOU SAY. A power struggle? Between purported allies? On this show? I can’t believe it. I’m waiting for the day when a bunch of Survivor alums decide, because they are so addicted to being on the show, to band together and live as a tribe on some crummy island out in the Pacific, forever backstabbing and stealing from one another, and constructing crude immunity idols and staging log-rolling contests. It will happen. I assure you. ANTICIPATION: I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS
THE MARRIAGE REF – 10:00PM (NBC) Here to cackle and laugh at your marriage tonight are Jerry Seinfeld, Greg Giraldo, and… Gwyneth Paltrow? Really? Why do I think this show’s judging panel consists strictly of people who attend charity fundraiser polo matches with Seinfeld out in Bridgehampton? Anyway, Giraldo is a legitimately funny human being, and if he can turn on Paltrow and give her the ribbing she so desperately deserves, I think we’ll all sleep better this evening. ANTICIPATION: RICH FRIENDS GATHER ON TV SHOWS!
SEX DECOY: LOVE STINGS – 9:00PM (FOX) I once saw this program listed at 4AM in my guide and thought to myself, WOOHOO! It’s late night basic cable erotica! I don’t have HBO or Cinemax, so the idea of a regular basic cable channel being smart enough to cater to my late night deviancy thrilled me. I have always been of the mind that channels like Spike and Fox Reality should, once 1AM comes around, just show scantily clad women (and men, gotta have balance) in thongs until 6AM the next morning. I think it’s the right thing to do. Anyway, this show isn’t soft core porn. Unless you really, really need assistance. ANTICIPATION: BUSTED!
DUDESONS IN AMERICA – 9:00PM (FOX) Jackass star Johnny Knoxville produces this show about a group of Finnish dudes who perform flash mob stunts. Will it be funny? I dunno. But it IS Finnish. I’m all but certain it will be odd. Dried seafood will play a huge role. ANTICIPATION: FINLAND!
GREY’S ANATOMY – 9:00PM (ABC) Those horny docs treat a 700-lb. patient. Didn’t they do this storyline already? I swear they did this. Also, the patient will be played by Ben Roethlisberger. You seen that guy lately? Looks like he eats women, not harasses them. ANTICIPATION: FAT!